’WPC‰ g-_œNJ”a·(W:7:7ÓåŖ`ų±!•o»³Ō””.·śĄęVį6adcoon³\IŌ5žjFå^±į„ļ< ŽaŃ­ėä/ߟs<°=’UĻšĀq£)…˜œ“„!ōˆŻÓ2 œPŸ¢–OYęEkSI8ÉgēL±qŹ#͟!ü _įW6õ:‡/¶čĘ|É{ī’ń“• ó÷ą`{‰™;½A8\IļžnŠ/”ī# ŌÓżA•WpĖ2ČZz‡’¤<&) ?&Ā·ĖOrMC„mo¼“4+bÄģÅķ<ŠLƵiów,Oś&°Uē”Ś,c|Ķ·1€9„šÆ°C@œ¬ŹĒnsČ]¹LŻļ ķļ—įeUl¦+a^!)ńļx‚£…¹¶„G@æv(YX-—øZÅļ’xÅ®ĒŠžj $(EńHi +”i½½5T1”źTrd+Ɠ˜—”2®+E~֕óĀ“\eö¤,9~żĀ‹6ņæÓ%™F°rUT½ćPŒwü^°×aM‰J—‡Æ‰r›GW8ÖŠ)ٽt{·ZųÉ+¶Ż0SRēFZŅZØ q/ØX™°Ķ•µŚJ‚īsˆŁ§É·ā*ŌŸ:'ūöGß#Į^U: %Y 0ä_U,CU2ob”bÆb½bĖbŁbēbõbbbb-^ ;wG4K_n mpN‡˜hp deskjet 9600 seriesT(T(0,*ŸåAZ‹"Arial Regularõ(¼NŒ$””Ō  ŌŌ  ŌŃ„„ŃŃ„„ŃŅ„°ŅŅ„°ŅŌCEUS.,ŌŌ€ōŠ“ņņōŌŌ€ōŠ“ņņōŠ“ŌŌ"CE ś-ś-śŌ,†r‰AZ‹Arial 0ä2¼A`HelveticaPage łPage łPage łPage łPage łPage łPage łPage łPage łPage łPage łż4 ÉCš4ź:i¢×+003|x¤’U‹’ĄĄĄŻ ƒNŒ!ŻŌ  ŌŌ  ŌŃ„°ŃŃ„°ŃŅ„°ŅŅ„°ŅŌCEUS.,ŌŌ€õ+õõõŌŌ€ō—Ćņõõ+ŌŌ"CE ś-ś-śŌŻ  ŻŌ_ŌŃ8€īōņd¾dČ8ŃŃ€ŃŌ€¼$u»ņō—ĆŌChapter€1Š „ ŠĢBILL'S€STORYŠ   ŠĢą Ü ąWar€fever€ran€high€in€the€New€England€town€to€which€new,€young€officersŠ ¼8 Šfrom€Plattsburg€were€assigned,€and€we€were€flattered€when€the€first€citizens€tookŠ ŹF Šus€to€their€homes,€making€us€feel€heroic.€€Here€was€love,€applause,€war;Š Ų T Šmoments€sublime€with€intervals€hilarious.€€I€was€part€of€life€at€last,€and€in€theŠ ę b Šmidst€of€the€excitement€I€discovered€liquor.€€I€forgot€the€strong€warnings€and€theŠ ō p Šprejudices€of€my€people€concerning€drink.€€In€time€we€sailed€for€"Over€There".€€IŠ  ~  Šwas€very€lonely€and€again€turned€to€alcohol.Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąWe€landed€in€England.€€I€visited€Winchester€Cathedral.€€Much€moved,€IŠ ,Ø  Šwandered€outside.€€My€attention€was€caught€by€a€doggerel€on€an€old€tombstone:Š :¶  ŠAŠ HÄ ŠÓ  Ó"Here€lies€a€Hampshire€GrenadierŠ VŅ ŠWho€caught€his€deathŠ dą ŠDrinking€cold€small€beer.Š rī ŠA€good€soldier€is€ne'er€forgotŠ €ü ŠWhether€he€died€by€musketŠ Ž  ŠOr€by€pot".Š œ ŠĢOminous€warning„„€which€I€failed€to€heed.Š ø4 ŠÓ  ÓĢĢTwenty„two€and€a€veteran€of€foreign€wars,€I€went€home€at€last.€€I€fancied€myselfŠ ā^ Ša€leader,€for€had€not€the€men€of€my€battery€given€me€a€special€token€ofŠ šl Šappreciation?€€My€talent€for€leadership,€I€imagined,€would€place€me€at€the€headŠ žz Šof€vast€enterprises€which€I€would€manage€with€the€utmost€leadership.Š   !ˆ ŠI€took€a€night€law€course,€and€obtained€employment€as€investigator€for€a€suretyŠ „ Šcompany.€€The€drive€for€success€was€on.€€I'd€prove€to€the€world€I€was€important.€Š ’ ŠMy€work€took€me€about€Wall€Street€and€little€by€little€I€became€interested€in€theŠ   Šmarket.€€Many€people€lost€money„„but€some€became€very€rich.€€Why€not€I?€€IŠ ®* Šstudied€economics€and€business€as€well€as€law.€€Potential€alcoholic€that€I€was,€IŠ ¼8 Šnearly€failed€my€law€course.€€At€one€of€the€finals€I€was€too€drunk€to€think€or€write.€Š ŹF ŠThough€my€drinking€was€not€yet€continuous,€it€disturbed€my€wife.€We€had€longŠ Ų T Štalks€when€I€would€still€her€forbodings€by€telling€her€that€men€of€genius€conceivedŠ ę b Štheir€best€projects€when€drunk;€that€the€most€majestic€constructions€ofŠ ō p Šphilosophical€thought€were€so€derived.Š  ~  ŠĢBy€the€time€I€had€completed€the€course,€I€new€the€law€was€not€for€me.€€TheŠ š  Šinviting€maelstrom€of€wall€Street€had€me€in€its€grip.€€Business€and€financialŠ ,Ø  Šleaders€were€my€heros.€€Out€of€this€alloy€of€drink€and€speculation,€I€commencedŠ :¶  Što€forge€the€weapon€that€one€day€would€turn€in€its€flight€like€a€boomerang€and€allŠ HÄ Šbut€cut€me€to€ribbons.€€Living€modestly,€my€wife€and€I€saved€$1,000.€€It€went€intoŠ VŅ Šcertain€securities,€then€cheap€and€rather€unpopular.€€I€rightly€imagined€that€theyŠ dą Šwould€some€day€have€a€great€rise.€€I€failed€to€persuade€my€broker€friends€to€sendŠ rī Šme€out€looking€over€factories€and€managements,€but€my€wife€and€I€decided€to€goŠ €ü Šanyway.€€I€had€developed€a€theory€that€most€people€lost€money€in€stocks€throughŠ Ž  Šignorance€of€markets.€€I€discovered€many€more€reasons€later€on.Š œ ŠĢWe€gave€up€our€positions€and€off€we€roared€on€a€motorcycle,€the€sidecar€stuffedŠ ø4 Šwith€tent,€blankets,€a€change€of€clothes,€and€three€huge€volumes€of€a€finan„Š  ĘB Šcial€reference€service.€€Our€friends€thought€a€lunacy€commission€should€beŠ „ Šappointed.€€Perhaps€they€were€right.€€I€had€some€success€at€speculation,€so€weŠ ’ Šhad€a€little€money,€but€we€had€once€worked€on€a€farm€for€a€month€do€avoidŠ   Šdrawing€on€our€small€capital.€€That€was€the€last€honest€manual€labour€on€my€partŠ ®* Šfor€many€a€day.€€We€covered€the€whole€eastern€United€States€in€a€year.€€At€theŠ ¼8 Šend€of€it,€my€reports€to€Wall€Street€procured€me€a€position€there€and€the€use€of€aŠ ŹF Šlarge€expense€account.€€The€exercise€of€an€option€brought€in€more€money,Š Ų T Šleaving€us€with€a€profit€of€several€thousand€dollars€for€that€year.Š ę b ŠĢFor€the€next€few€years€fortune€threw€money€and€applause€my€way.€€I€had€arrived.€Š  ~  ŠMy€judgement€and€ideas€were€followed€by€many€to€the€tune€of€paper€millions.€Š Œ  ŠThe€great€boom€of€the€late€twenties€was€seething€and€swelling.€€Drink€was€takingŠ š  Šan€important€and€exhilarating€part€in€my€life.€€There€was€loud€talk€in€the€jazzŠ ,Ø  Šplaces€uptown.€€Everyone€spent€in€thousands€and€chatted€in€millions.€€ScoffersŠ :¶  Šcould€scoff€and€be€damned.€€I€made€a€host€of€fair„weather€friends.Š HÄ ŠĢMy€drinking€assumed€more€serious€proportions,€continuing€all€day€and€almostŠ dą Ševery€night.€€The€remonstrances€of€my€friends€terminated€in€a€row€and€I€becameŠ rī Ša€lonely€wolf.€€There€were€many€unhappy€scenes€in€our€sumptuous€apartment.€Š €ü ŠThere€had€been€no€real€infidelity,€for€loyalty€to€my€wife,€helped€at€times€byŠ Ž  Šextreme€drunkenness,€kept€me€out€of€those€scrapes.Š œ ŠĢIn€1920€I€contracted€golf€fever.€€We€went€at€once€to€the€country,€my€wife€toŠ ø4 Šapplaud€while€i€started€out€to€overtake€Walter€Hagen.€€Liquor€caught€up€with€meŠ ĘB Šmust€faster€than€I€came€up€behind€Walter.€€I€began€to€be€jittery€in€the€morning.€Š ŌP ŠGolf€permitted€drinkingŠ  ā^ Ševery€day€and€every€night.€€It€was€fun€to€carom€around€the€exclusive€courseŠ „ Šwhich€had€inspired€such€awe€in€me€as€a€lad.€€I€acquired€the€impeccable€coat€ofŠ ’ Štan€one€sees€upon€the€well„to€do.€€the€local€banker€watched€me€whirl€fat€checksŠ   Šin€and€out€of€his€till€with€amused€skepticism.Š ®* ŠĢAbruptly€in€October€1929€hell€broke€loose€on€the€New€York€stock€exchange.€Š ŹF ŠAfter€one€of€those€days€of€inferno,€I€wobbled€from€a€hotel€bar€to€a€brokerageŠ Ų T Šoffice.€€It€was€eight€o'clock„„five€hours€after€the€market€closed.€€The€ticker€stillŠ ę b Šclattered.€I€was€staring€at€an€inch€of€the€tape€which€bore€the€inscription€XYZ„32.€Š ō p ŠIt€had€been€52€that€morning.€€I€was€finished€and€so€were€many€friends.€€TheŠ  ~  Špapers€reported€men€jumping€to€death€from€the€towers€of€High€Finance.€€ThatŠ Œ  Šdisgusted€me.€€I€would€not€jump.€€I€went€back€to€the€bar.€€My€friends€had€droppedŠ š  Šseveral€million€since€ten€o'clock„„so€what?€€Tomorrow€was€another€day.€€As€IŠ ,Ø  Šdrank,€the€old€fierce€determination€to€win€came€back.Š :¶  ŠĢNext€morning€I€telephoned€a€friend€in€Montreal.€€he€had€plenty€of€money€left€andŠ VŅ ŠI€thought€I€had€better€go€to€Canada.€€By€the€following€spring€we€were€living€in€ourŠ dą Šaccustomed€style.€€I€felt€like€Napoleon€returning€from€Elba.€€No€St.€Helena€forŠ rī Šme!€€But€drinking€caught€up€with€me€again€and€my€generous€friend€had€to€let€meŠ €ü Šgo.€€This€time€we€stayed€broke.Š Ž  ŠĢWe€went€to€live€with€my€wife's€parents.€€I€found€a€job;€then€lost€it€as€the€result€ofŠ Ŗ& Ša€brawl€with€a€taxi€driver.€€Mercifully,€no€one€could€guess€that€I€was€to€have€noŠ ø4 Šreal€employment€for€five€years,€or€hardly€draw€a€sober€breath.€€My€wife€began€toŠ ĘB Šwork€in€a€department€store,€coming€home€exhausted€to€find€me€drunk.Š  ŌP ŠI€became€an€unwilling€hanger„on€at€brokerage€places.Š „ ŠĢLiquor€ceased€to€be€a€luxury;€it€became€a€necessity.€€"Bathtub"€gin,€two€bottles€aŠ   Šday€and€often€three,€got€to€be€routine.€€Sometimes€a€small€deal€would€net€a€fewŠ ®* Šhundred€dollars,€and€I€would€pay€my€bills€at€the€bars€and€delicatessens.€€ThisŠ ¼8 Šwent€on€endlessly,€and€I€began€to€waken€very€early€in€the€morning€shakingŠ ŹF Šviolently.€€A€tumbler€full€of€gin€followed€by€half€a€dozen€bottles€of€beer€would€beŠ Ų T Šrequired€if€I€were€to€eat€any€breakfast.€€Nevertheless,€I€still€thought€I€couldŠ ę b Šcontrol€the€situation,€and€there€were€periods€of€sobriety€which€renewed€my€wife'sŠ ō p Šhope.Š  ~  ŠĢGradually€things€got€worse.€€The€house€was€taken€over€by€the€€mortgage€holder,Š š  Šmy€mother„in„law€died,€and€my€wife€and€father„in„law€became€ill.Š ,Ø  ŠĢThe€I€got€a€promising€business€opportunity.€Stocks€were€at€the€low€point€of€1932,Š HÄ Šand€I€had€somehow€formed€a€group€to€buy.€€I€was€to€share€generously€in€theŠ VŅ Šprofits.€€Then€I€went€on€a€prodigious€bender€and€that€chance€vanished.Š dą ŠĢI€woke€up.€€This€had€to€be€stopped.€€I€saw€I€could€not€take€as€much€as€one€drink.€Š €ü ŠI€was€through€forever.€€Before€then,€I€had€written€lots€of€sweet€promises,€but€myŠ Ž  Šwife€happily€observed€that€this€time€I€meant€business.€€And€so€I€did.Š œ ŠĢShortly€afterward€I€came€home€drunk.€€There€had€been€no€fight.€€Where€hadŠ ø4 Šbeen€my€high€resolve?€€I€simply€didn't€know.€€It€hadn't€even€come€to€mind.€Š ĘB ŠSomeone€had€pushed€a€drink€my€way,€and€I€had€taken€it.€€Was€I€crazy?€€I€beganŠ ŌP Što€wonder,€for€such€an€appalling€lack€of€perspective€seemed€near€being€just€that.Š ā^ ŠĢRenewing€my€resolve,€I€tried€again.€€Some€timeŠ  žz Špassed€and€confidence€began€to€be€replaced€by€cock„sureness.€€I€could€laugh€atŠ „ Šthe€gin€mills.€€Now€I€had€what€it€takes!€€One€day€I€walked€into€a€cafe€toŠ ’ Štelephone.€€In€no€time,€I€was€beating€on€the€bar€asking€myself€how€it€hadŠ   Šhappened.€€As€the€whiskey€rose€to€my€head€I€told€myself€I€would€manage€betterŠ ®* Šnext€time,€but€I€might€as€well€get€good€and€drunk€then.€€And€I€did.Š ¼8 ŠĢThe€remorse,€horror,€and€hopelessness€of€the€next€morning€are€unforgettable.€Š Ų T ŠThe€courage€to€do€battle€was€not€there.€€My€brain€raced€uncontrollably€and€thereŠ ę b Šwas€a€terrible€sense€of€impending€calamity.€€I€hardly€dared€cross€the€street,€lest€IŠ ō p Šcollapse€and€be€run€down€by€an€early€morning€truck,€for€it€was€scarcely€daylight.€Š  ~  ŠAn€all€night€place€supplied€me€with€a€dozen€glasses€of€ale.€€My€writhing€nervesŠ Œ  Šwere€stifled€at€last.€€A€morning€paper€told€me€the€market€had€gone€to€hell€again.Š š  Šwell,€so€had€I.€€The€market€would€recover,€but€I€wouldn't.€€That€was€a€hardŠ ,Ø  Šthought.€€Should€I€kill€myself?€€No„„not€now.€€Then€a€mental€fog€settled€down.€Š :¶  ŠGin€would€fix€that.€€So€two€bottles,€and„„oblivion.Š HÄ ŠĢThe€mind€and€body€are€marvellous€mechanisms,€for€mine€endured€this€agony€forŠ dą Štwo€more€years.€€Sometimes€I€stole€from€my€wife's€slender€purse€when€theŠ rī Šmorning€terror€and€madness€were€on€me.€€Again€I€swayed€dizzily€before€an€openŠ €ü Šwindow,€or€the€medicine€cabinet€here€there€was€poison,€cursing€myself€for€aŠ Ž  Šweakling.€€There€were€flights€from€city€to€country€and€back,€as€my€wife€and€IŠ œ Šsought€escape.€€Then€came€the€night€when€the€physical€and€mental€torture€wasŠ Ŗ& Šso€hellish€I€feared€I€would€burst€through€my€window,€sash€and€all.€€Somehow€IŠ ø4 Šmanaged€to€drag€my€mattress€to€a€lower€floor,€lest€I€suddenly€leap.€€A€doctorŠ ĘB Šcame€withŠ  ŌP Ša€heavy€sedative.€€Next€day€he€found€me€drinking€both€gin€and€sedative.€€ThisŠ „ Šcombination€soon€landed€me€on€the€rocks.€€people€feared€for€my€sanity.€€So€didŠ ’ ŠI.€€I€could€eat€little€or€nothing€when€drinking,€and€I€was€forty€pounds€underŠ   Šweight.Š ®* ŠĢMy€brother„in„law€is€a€physician,€and€through€his€kindness€and€that€of€my€motherŠ ŹF ŠI€was€placed€in€a€nationally€known€hospital€for€the€mental€and€physicalŠ Ų T Šrehabilitation€of€alcoholics.€€Under€the€so„called€belladonna€treatment€my€brainŠ ę b Šcleared.€€Hydrotherapy€and€mild€exercise€helped€much.€€Best€of€all,€I€met€a€kindŠ ō p Šdoctor€who€explained€that€though€certainly€selfish€and€foolish,€I€had€beenŠ  ~  Šseriously€ill,€bodily€and€mentally.Š Œ  ŠĢIt€relieved€me€somewhat€to€learn€that€in€alcoholics€the€will€is€amazinglyŠ ,Ø  Šweakened€when€it€comes€to€combating€liquor,€though€it€often€remains€strong€inŠ :¶  Šother€respects.€€My€incredible€behaviour€in€the€face€of€a€desperate€desire€to€stopŠ HÄ Šwas€explained.€€Understanding€myself€now,€I€fared€forth€in€high€hope.€€For€threeŠ VŅ Šor€four€months€the€goose€hung€high.€€I€went€to€town€regularly€and€even€made€aŠ dą Šlittle€money.€€Surely€this€was€the€answer„„self„knowledge.Š rī ŠĢBut€it€was€not,€for€the€frightful€day€came€when€I€drank€once€more.€€The€curve€ofŠ Ž  Šmy€declining€moral€and€bodily€health€fell€off€like€a€ski€jump.€€After€a€time€IŠ œ Šreturned€to€the€hospital.€€This€was€the€finish,€the€curtain,€it€seemed€to€me.€€MyŠ Ŗ& Šweary€and€despairing€wife€was€informed€that€it€would€all€end€with€heart€failureŠ ø4 Šduring€delirium€tremens,€or€I€would€develop€a€wet€brain,€perhaps€within€a€year.€Š ĘB ŠShe€would€soon€have€to€give€me€over€to€the€undertaker€or€the€asylum.Š ŌP ŠĢThey€did€not€need€to€tell€me.€I€knew,€and€almost€welcomed€the€idea.€€It€was€aŠ šl Šdevastating€blow€to€myŠ  žz Špride.€€I,€who€had€thought€so€well€of€myself€and€my€abilities,€of€my€capacity€toŠ „ Šsurmount€obstacles,€was€cornered€at€last.€€Now€I€was€to€plunge€into€the€dark,Š ’ Šjoining€that€endless€procession€of€sots€who€had€gone€on€before.€€I€thought€of€myŠ   Špoor€wife.€€There€had€been€much€happiness€after€all.€€What€would€I€not€give€toŠ ®* Šmake€amends.€€But€that€was€over€now.Š ¼8 ŠĢNo€words€can€tell€of€the€loneliness€and€despair€I€found€in€that€bitter€morass€ofŠ Ų T Šself„pity.€€Quicksand€stretched€around€me€in€all€directions.€€I€had€met€my€match.€Š ę b ŠI€had€been€overwhelmed.€€Alcohol€was€my€master.Š ō p ŠĢTrembling,€I€stepped€from€the€hospital€a€broken€man.€€Fear€sobered€me€for€a€bit.€Š Œ  ŠThen€came€the€insidious€insanity€of€the€first€drink,€and€on€Armistice€Day€1934,€IŠ š  Šwas€off€again.€€Everyone€became€resigned€to€the€certainty€that€I€would€have€toŠ ,Ø  Šbe€shut€up€somewhere,€or€I€would€stumble€along€to€a€miserable€end.€€How€dark€itŠ :¶  Šis€before€the€dawn!€€In€reality€that€was€the€beginning€of€my€last€debauch.€€I€wasŠ HÄ Šsoon€to€be€catapulted€into€what€I€like€to€call€the€fourth€dimension€of€existence.€€IŠ VŅ Šwas€to€know€a€new€happiness,€peace,€and€usefulness,€in€a€way€of€life€that€isŠ dą Šincredibly€more€wonderful€as€time€passes.Š rī ŠĢNear€the€end€of€that€bleak€November,€I€sat€drinking€in€my€kitchen.€€With€a€certainŠ Ž  Šsatisfaction€I€reflected€that€there€was€enough€gin€concealed€about€the€house€toŠ œ Šcarry€me€through€that€night€and€into€the€next€day.€€My€wife€was€at€work.€€IŠ Ŗ& Šwondered€whether€I€dared€hide€a€full€bottle€of€gin€near€the€head€of€our€bed.€€IŠ ø4 Šwould€need€it€before€daylight.Š  ĘB ŠMy€musing€was€interrupted€by€the€telephone.€€the€cheery€voice€of€an€old€schoolŠ „ Šfriend€asked€if€he€might€come€over.€€ņņHe€was€soberóó.€€It€was€years€since€I€couldŠ ’ Šremember€his€coming€to€new€York€in€that€condition.€€I€was€amazed.€€Rumour€hadŠ   Šit€that€he€had€been€committed€for€alcoholic€insanity.€€I€wondered€how€he€hadŠ ®* Šescaped.€€Of€course€he€would€have€dinner,€and€then€I€could€drink€openly€withŠ ¼8 Šhim.€€Unmindful€of€his€welfare,€I€thought€only€of€recapturing€the€spirit€of€otherŠ ŹF Šdays.€€There€was€that€time€we€had€chartered€an€airplane€to€complete€a€jag!€€HisŠ Ų T Šcoming€was€an€oasis€in€this€dreary€desert€of€futility.€€The€very€thing„„an€oasis!€Š ę b ŠDrinkers€are€like€that.Š ō p ŠĢThe€door€opened€and€he€stood€there,€fresh„skinned€and€glowing.€€There€wasŠ Œ  Šsomething€about€his€eyes.€€He€was€inexplicably€different.€€What€had€happened?Š š  ŠĢI€pushed€a€drink€across€the€table,€he€refused€it.€€Disappointed€but€curious,€IŠ :¶  Šwondered€what€had€gotten€into€the€fellow.€€He€wasn't€himself.Š HÄ ŠĢCome,€what's€this€all€about?€I€queried.Š dą ŠĢHe€looked€straight€at€me.€€Simply,€but€smilingly,€he€said€"I've€got€religion".Š €ü ŠĢI€was€aghast.€€So€that€was€it„„last€summer€an€alcoholic€crackpot;€now,€IŠ œ Šsuspected,€a€little€cracked€about€religion.€€he€had€that€starry„eyed€look.€€Yes,€theŠ Ŗ& Šold€boy€was€on€fire€all€right.€€But€bless€his€heart,€let€him€rant!€€Besides,€my€ginŠ ø4 Šwould€last€longer€than€his€preaching.Š ĘB ŠĢBut€he€did€no€ranting.€In€a€matter€of€fact€way€he€€told€how€two€men€had€appearedŠ ā^ Šin€court,€persuading€the€judge€to€suspend€his€commitment.€€They€had€told€of€aŠ šl Šsimple€religious€idea€and€a€practical€program€of€action.€€That€was€two€monthsŠ žz Šago€and€the€result€was€self„evident.€€It€worked!Š  !ˆ ŠĢHe€had€come€to€pass€his€experience€along€to€me„„ifŠ  (#¤ ŠI€cared€to€have€it.€€I€was€shocked,€but€interested.€€€Certainly€I€was€interested.€€IŠ „ Šhad€to€be,€for€I€was€hopeless.Š ’ ŠĢHe€talked€for€hours.€€Childhood€memories€rose€before€me.€€I€could€almost€hearŠ ®* Šthe€sound€of€the€preacher's€voice€as€I€sat€on€still€Sundays,€way€over€there€on€theŠ ¼8 Šhillside;€there€was€that€proffered€temperance€pledge€I€never€signed;€myŠ ŹF Šgrandfather's€good€natured€contempt€of€some€church€folk€and€their€doings;€hisŠ Ų T Šinsistence€that€the€spheres€really€had€their€music;€but€his€denial€of€the€preacher'sŠ ę b Šright€to€tell€him€how€he€must€listen;€his€fearlessness€as€he€spoke€of€these€thingsŠ ō p Šjust€before€he€died;€and€these€recollections€welled€up€from€the€past.€€They€madeŠ  ~  Šme€swallow€hard.Š Œ  ŠĢThat€war„time€day€in€old€Winchester€Cathedral€came€back€again.Š ,Ø  ŠĢI€had€always€believed€in€a€Power€greater€than€myself.€€I€had€often€ponderedŠ HÄ Šthese€things.€€I€was€not€an€atheist.€€Few€people€really€are,€for€that€means€blindŠ VŅ Šfaith€in€the€proposition€that€this€universe€originated€in€a€cipher€and€aimlesslyŠ dą Šrushes€nowhere.€€My€intellectual€heros,€the€chemists,€the€astronomers,€even€theŠ rī Ševolutionists,€suggested€vast€laws€and€forces€at€work.€€despite€contraryŠ €ü Šindications,€I€had€little€doubt€that€a€mighty€purpose€and€rhythm€underlay€all.€€HowŠ Ž  Šcould€there€be€so€much€of€precise€and€immutable€law,€and€no€intelligence?€€IŠ œ Šsimply€had€to€believe€in€a€Spirit€of€the€€Universe,€who€knew€neither€time€norŠ Ŗ& Šlimitation.€€But€that€was€as€far€as€I€had€gone.Š ø4 ŠĢWith€ministers,€and€the€world's€religions,€I€parted€right€there.€€When€they€talkedŠ ŌP Šof€a€God€personal€to€me€who€was€love,€superhuman€strength€and€direction,€IŠ ā^ Šbecame€irritated€and€my€mind€snapped€shut€against€such€a€theory.Š  šl ŠTo€Christ,€I€conceded€the€certainty€of€a€great€man,€not€too€closely€followed€byŠ „ Šthose€who€claimed€him.€€His€moral€teachings„„most€excellent.€€For€myself,€I€hadŠ ’ Šadopted€those€parts€which€seemed€convenient€and€not€too€difficult;€the€rest€IŠ   Šdisregarded.Š ®* ŠĢThe€wars€which€had€been€fought,€the€burnings€and€chicanery€that€religiousŠ ŹF Šdispute€had€facilitated,€made€me€sick.€€I€honestly€doubted€whether,€on€balance,Š Ų T Šthe€religions€of€mankind€had€done€any€good.€€Judging€from€what€I€had€seen€inŠ ę b ŠEurope€and€since,€the€power€of€God€in€human€affairs€was€negligible,€theŠ ō p Šbrotherhood€of€Man€a€grim€jest.€€If€there€was€a€Devil,€he€seemed€the€BossŠ  ~  ŠUniversal,€and€he€certainly€had€me.Š Œ  ŠĢBut€my€friend€sat€before€me,€and€he€made€the€point„blank€declaration€that€GodŠ ,Ø  Šhad€done€for€him€what€he€could€not€do€for€himself.€€His€human€will€had€failed.€Š :¶  ŠDoctors€had€pronounced€him€incurable.€€Society€was€about€to€lock€him€up.€€LikeŠ HÄ Šmyself,€he€had€admitted€complete€defeat.€€Then€he€had,€in€effect,€been€raisedŠ VŅ Šfrom€the€dead,€taken€from€the€scrap€heap€to€a€level€of€life€better€that€the€best€heŠ dą Šhad€ever€known!Š rī ŠĢHad€this€power€originated€in€him?€€Obviously€it€had€not.€€There€had€been€noŠ Ž  Šmore€power€in€him€than€there€was€in€me€at€that€minute;€and€this€was€none€at€all.Š œ ŠĢThat€floored€me.€€It€began€to€look€as€though€religious€people€were€right€after€all.€Š ø4 Šhere€was€something€at€work€in€a€human€heart€which€had€done€the€impossible.€Š ĘB ŠMy€ideas€about€miracles€were€drastically€revised€right€then.€€Never€mind€theŠ ŌP Šmusty€past;€here€sat€a€miracle€directly€across€the€kitchen€table.€€he€shoutedŠ ā^ Šgreat€tidings.Š šl ŠĢI€saw€that€my€friend€was€much€more€than€inwardlyŠ   !ˆ Šreorganized.€€he€was€on€a€different€footing.€€His€roots€grasped€a€new€soil.Š „ ŠĢDespite€the€living€example€of€my€friend€there€remained€in€me€the€vestiges€of€myŠ   Šold€prejudice.€€The€word€God€still€aroused€a€certain€antipathy.€€When€the€thoughtŠ ®* Šwas€expresses€that€there€might€be€a€God€personal€to€me€this€feeling€wasŠ ¼8 Šintensified.€€I€didn't€like€the€idea.€€I€could€go€for€such€conceptions€as€CreativeŠ ŹF ŠIntelligence,€Universal€Mind€or€Spirit€of€Nature€but€I€resisted€the€thought€of€aŠ Ų T ŠCzar€of€the€heavens,€however€loving€His€sway€might€be.€€I€have€since€talked€withŠ ę b Šscores€of€men€who€felt€the€same€way.Š ō p ŠĢMy€friend€suggested€what€then€seemed€a€novel€idea.€€ņņ"Why€don't€you€chooseŠ Œ  Šyour€own€conception€of€God"óó.Š š  ŠĢthat€statement€hit€me€hard.€€It€melted€the€icy€intellectual€mountain€in€whoseŠ :¶  Šshadow€I€had€lived€and€shivered€these€many€years.€€I€stood€in€the€sunlight€atŠ HÄ Šlast.Š VŅ ŠĢņņIt€was€only€a€matter€of€being€willing€to€believe€in€a€Power€greater€than€myself.€Š rī ŠNothing€more€was€required€of€me€to€make€my€beginningóó.€€I€saw€that€growthŠ ~ś Šcould€start€from€that€point.€€Upon€a€foundation€of€complete€willingness€I€mightŠ Œ Šbuild€what€I€saw€in€my€friend.€€Would€I€have€it?€€Of€course€I€would!Š š ŠĢThus€was€I€convinced€that€God€is€concerned€with€us€humans€when€we€want€HimŠ ¶2 Šenough.€€At€long€last€I€saw,€I€felt,€I€believed.€Scales€of€pride€and€prejudice€fellŠ Ä@ Šfrom€my€eyes.€€A€new€world€came€into€view.Š ŅN ŠĢThe€real€significance€of€my€experience€in€the€Cathedral€burst€upon€me.€For€aŠ īj Šbrief€moment,€I€had€needed€and€wanted€God.€€€There€had€been€a€humbleŠ üx Šwillingness€to€have€Him€with€me„„and€He€came.€€But€soon€the€sense€of€HisŠ  !† Špresence€had€been€blotted€out€byŠ  "” Šworldly€clamors,€mostly€those€within€myself.€€And€so€it€had€been€ever€since.€Š „ ŠHow€blind€had€I€been.Š ’ ŠĢAt€the€hospital€I€was€separated€from€alcohol€for€the€last€time.€Treatment€seemedŠ ®* Šwise,€for€I€showed€signs€of€delirium€tremens.Š ¼8 ŠĢThere€I€humbly€offered€myself€to€God,€as€I€then€understood€Him,€to€do€with€meŠ Ų T Šas€He€would.€€I€placed€myself€unreservedly€under€His€care€and€direction.€€IŠ ę b Šadmitted€for€the€first€time€that€I€of€myself€was€nothing;€that€without€Him€I€wasŠ ō p Šlost.€€I€ruthlessly€faced€my€sins€and€became€willing€to€have€my€new€found€FriendŠ  ~  Štake€them€away,€root€and€branch.€€I€have€not€had€a€drink€since.Š Œ  ŠĢMy€schoolmate€visited€me,€and€I€fully€acquainted€him€with€my€problems€andŠ ,Ø  Šdeficiencies.€€We€made€a€list€of€people€I€had€hurt€or€toward€whom€I€feltŠ :¶  Šresentment.€€I€expressed€my€entire€willingness€to€approach€these€individuals,Š HÄ Šadmitting€my€wrong.€€Never€was€I€to€be€critical€of€them.€€I€was€to€right€all€suchŠ VŅ Šmatters€to€the€best€of€my€ability.Š dą ŠĢI€was€to€test€my€thinking€by€the€new€God„consciousness€within.€€Common€senseŠ €ü Šwould€thus€become€un„common€sense.€€I€was€to€sit€quietly€when€in€doubt,€askingŠ Ž  Šonly€for€direction€and€strength€to€meet€my€problems€as€He€would€have€me.€Š œ ŠNever€was€I€to€pray€fro€myself,€except€as€my€requests€bore€on€my€usefulness€toŠ Ŗ& Šothers.€€Then€only€might€I€expect€to€receive.€€But€that€would€be€in€great€measure.Š ø4 ŠĢMy€friend€promised€when€these€things€were€done€i€would€enter€upon€a€newŠ ŌP Šrelationship€with€my€Creator;€that€I€would€have€the€elements€of€a€way€of€livingŠ ā^ Šwhich€answered€all€my€problems.€€Belief€in€the€power€of€God,€plus€enoughŠ šl Šwillingness,€honesty€and€humilityŠ  žz Što€establish€and€maintain€a€new€order€of€things,€were€the€essential€requirements.Š „ ŠĢSimple,€but€not€easy;€a€price€had€to€be€paid.€€It€meant€destruction€of€self„Š   Šcenteredness.€€I€must€turn€in€all€things€to€the€Father€of€Light€who€presides€overŠ ®* Šus€all.Š ¼8 ŠĢThese€were€revolutionary€and€drastic€proposals,€but€the€moment€I€fully€acceptedŠ Ų T Šthem,€the€effect€was€electric.€€There€was€a€sense€of€victory,€followed€by€such€aŠ ę b Špeace€and€serenity€as€I€had€never€known.€€There€was€utter€confidence.€I€€feltŠ ō p Šlifted€up,€as€though€the€great€clean€wind€of€a€mountain€top€blew€through€andŠ  ~  Šthrough.€€God€comes€to€most€men€gradually,€but€His€impact€on€me€was€suddenŠ Œ  Šand€profound.Š š  ŠĢFor€a€moment€I€was€alarmed,€and€called€my€friend,€the€doctor€to€ask€if€I€were€stillŠ :¶  Šsane.€€he€listened€in€wonder€as€I€talked.Š HÄ ŠĢFinally,€he€shook€his€head€saying,€"Something€has€happened€to€you,€I€don'tŠ dą Šunderstand.€€But€you€had€better€hang€onto€it.€€Anything€is€better€than€the€wayŠ rī Šyou€were".€€€The€good€doctor€now€sees€many€men€who€have€had€suchŠ €ü Šexperiences.€€He€knows€that€they€are€real.Š Ž  ŠĢWhile€I€lay€in€the€hospital,€the€thought€came€that€there€were€thousands€ofŠ Ŗ& Šhopeless€alcoholics€who€might€be€glad€to€have€what€had€been€so€freely€givenŠ ø4 Šme.€€Perhaps€I€could€help€some€of€them.€€They€in€turn€might€work€with€others.Š ĘB ŠĢMy€friend€had€emphasized€the€absolute€necessity€of€demonstrating€theseŠ ā^ Šprinciples€in€all€my€affairs.€€particularly€was€it€imperative€to€work€with€others€asŠ šl Šhe€had€worked€with€me.€€Faith€without€works€was€dead,€he€said.€€and€howŠ žz Šappallingly€true€for€the€alcoholic!€€For€if€an€alcoholic€failed€to€perfect€and€enlargeŠ  !ˆ ŠhisŠ  "– Šspiritual€life€through€work€and€self„sacrifice€for€others,€he€could€not€survive€theŠ „ Šcertain€trials€and€low€spots€ahead.€€if€he€did€not€work,€he€would€surely€drinkŠ ’ Šagain,€and€if€he€drank,€he€would€surely€die.€Then€faith€would€be€dead€indeed.€Š   ŠWith€us€it€is€just€like€that.Š ®* ŠĢMy€wife€and€I€abandoned€ourselves€with€enthusiasm€to€the€idea€of€helping€otherŠ ŹF Šalcoholics€to€a€solution€to€their€problems.€€It€was€fortunate,€for€my€old€businessŠ Ų T Šassociates€remained€skeptical€for€a€year€and€a€half,€during€which€I€found€littleŠ ę b Šwork.€€I€was€not€too€well€at€the€time€and€was€plagued€with€waves€of€self„pity€andŠ ō p Šresentment.€€This€sometimes€nearly€drove€me€back€to€drink,€but€I€soon€foundŠ  ~  Šthat€when€all€other€measures€failed,€work€with€another€alcoholic€would€save€theŠ Œ  Šday.€€Many€times€i€have€gone€to€my€old€hospital€in€despair.€€On€talking€to€a€manŠ š  Šthere,€I€would€be€amazingly€lifted€up€and€set€on€my€feet.€€It€is€a€design€for€livingŠ ,Ø  Šthat€works€in€rough€going.Š :¶  ŠĢWe€commenced€to€make€many€fast€friends€and€a€fellowship€has€grown€upŠ VŅ Šamong€us€of€which€it€is€a€wonderful€thing€to€feel€a€part.€€The€joy€of€living€we€reallyŠ dą Šhave,€even€under€pressure€and€difficulty.€€I€have€seen€hundreds€of€families€setŠ rī Štheir€feet€in€the€path€that€really€goes€somewhere;€have€seen€the€most€impossibleŠ €ü Šdomestic€situations€righted;€feuds€and€bitterness€of€all€sorts€wiped€out.€€I€haveŠ Ž  Šseen€men€come€out€of€asylums€and€resume€a€vital€place€in€the€lives€of€theirŠ œ Šfamilies€and€communities.€€Business€and€professional€men€have€regained€theirŠ Ŗ& Šstanding.€€There€is€scarcely€any€form€of€trouble€and€misery€which€has€not€beenŠ ø4 Šovercome€among€us.€€In€one€western€city€and€its€environs€there€are€thousands€ofŠ ĘB Šus€and€our€families.€€We€meet€frequently€so€that€newcomers€may€find€theŠ ŌP Šfellowship€Š  ā^ Šthey€seek.€€At€these€informal€gatherings€one€may€often€see€from€50€to€200Š „ Špersons.€We€are€growing€in€€numbers€and€power.*Š ’ ŠĢAn€alcoholic€in€his€cups€is€an€unlovely€creature.€€Our€struggles€with€them€areŠ ®* Švariously€strenuous,€comic,€and€tragic.€€One€poor€chap€committed€suicide€in€myŠ ¼8 Šhome.€€he€could€not,€or€would€not,€see€our€way€of€life.Š ŹF ŠĢThere€is,€however,€a€vast€amount€of€fun€about€it€all.€€I€suppose€some€would€beŠ ę b Šshocked€at€our€seeming€worldliness€and€levity.€But€just€underneath€there€isŠ ō p Šdeadly€earnestness.€€faith€has€to€work€twenty„four€hours€a€day€in€and€through€us,Š  ~  Šor€we€perish.Š Œ  ŠĢMost€of€us€feel€we€need€look€no€further€for€Utopia.€€We€have€it€with€us€right€hereŠ ,Ø  Šand€now.€€Each€day€my€friend's€simple€talk€in€our€kitchen€multiplies€itself€in€aŠ :¶  Šwidening€circle€of€peace€on€earth€and€good€will€to€men.Š HÄ ŠĢĢĢÓ  ÓBill€W.,€co„founder€of€A.A.,Š €ü Šdied€January€24,€1971Š Ž  ŠÓ  ÓĢĢ*ą Ü ąIn€1990,€A.A.€is€composed€of€approximately€88,000€groups.Š  ø4 ŠŃ€ŃChapter€2Š „ ŠĢTHERE€IS€A€SOLUTIONŠ   ŠĢą Ü ąWe€of€ALCOHOLICS€ANONYMOUS,€know€thousands€of€men€and€womenŠ ¼8 Šwho€were€once€just€as€hopeless€as€Bill.€€Nearly€all€have€recovered.€€They€haveŠ ŹF Šsolved€the€drink€problem.Š Ų T ŠĢą Ü ąWe€are€average€Americans.€€All€sections€of€this€country€and€many€of€itsŠ ō p Šoccupations€are€represented,€as€well€as€many€political,€economic,€social,€andŠ  ~  Šreligious€backgrounds.€€We€are€people€who€normally€would€not€mix.€€But€thereŠ Œ  Šexists€among€us,€a€fellowship,€a€friendliness,€and€an€understanding€which€isŠ š  Šindescribably€wonderful.€€We€are€like€the€passengers€of€a€great€liner€the€momentŠ ,Ø  Šafter€rescue€from€shipwreck€where€camaraderie,€joyousness€and€democracyŠ :¶  Špervade€the€vessel€from€steerage€to€captain's€table.€€Unlike€the€feelings€of€theŠ HÄ Šship's€passengers,€however,€our€joy€in€escape€from€disaster€does€not€subside€asŠ VŅ Šwe€go€our€individual€ways.€€The€feeling€of€having€shared€in€a€common€peril€isŠ dą Šone€element€in€the€powerful€cement€which€binds€us.€€But€that€in€itself€wouldŠ rī Šnever€have€held€us€together€as€we€are€now€joined.Š €ü ŠĢą Ü ąThe€tremendous€fact€for€every€one€of€us€is€that€we€have€discovered€aŠ œ Šcommon€solution.€€We€have€a€way€out€on€which€we€can€absolutely€agree,€andŠ Ŗ& Šupon€which€we€can€absolutely€agree,€and€upon€which€we€can€join€in€brotherlyŠ ø4 Šand€harmonious€action.€€This€is€the€great€news€that€this€book€carries€to€thoseŠ ĘB Šwho€suffer€from€alcoholism.Š  ŌP Šą Ü ąAn€illness€of€this€sort„„and€we€have€come€to€believe€it€an€illness„„involvesŠ „ Šthose€about€us€in€a€way€no€other€human€sickness€can.€€If€a€person€has€cancer€allŠ ’ Šare€sorry€for€him€and€no€one€is€angry€or€hurt.€€But€not€so€with€the€alcoholicŠ   Šillness,€for€with€it€goes€annihilation€of€all€the€things€worth€while€in€life.€€It€engulfsŠ ®* Šall€whose€lives€touch€the€sufferer's.€€It€brings€misunderstanding,€fierceŠ ¼8 Šresentment,€financial€insecurity,€disgusted€friends€and€employers,€warped€livesŠ ŹF Šof€blameless€children,€sad€wives€and€parents„„anyone€can€increase€the€list.Š Ų T ŠĢą Ü ąWe€hope€this€volume€will€inform€and€comfort€those€who€are,€or€may€beŠ ō p Šaffected.€€There€are€many.Š  ~  ŠĢą Ü ąHighly€competent€psychiatrists€who€have€dealt€with€us€have€found€itŠ š  Šsometimes€impossible€to€persuade€an€alcoholic€to€discuss€his€situation€withoutŠ ,Ø  Šreserve.€€Strangely€enough,€wives,€parents€and€intimate€friends€usually€find€usŠ :¶  Ševen€more€approachable€than€do€the€psychiatrist€and€the€doctor.Š HÄ ŠĢą Ü ąBut€the€ex„drinker€who€has€found€this€solution,€who€is€properly€armed€withŠ dą Šfacts€about€himself,€can€generally€win€the€confidence€of€€another€alcoholic€in€aŠ rī Šfew€hours.€€Until€such€an€understanding€is€reached,€little€or€nothing€can€beŠ €ü Šaccomplished.Š Ž  ŠĢą Ü ąThat€the€man€who€is€making€the€approach€has€had€the€same€difficulty,€thatŠ Ŗ& Šhe€obviously€knows€what€he€is€talking€about,€that€his€whole€deportment€shouts€atŠ ø4 Šthe€new€prospect€that€he€is€a€man€with€a€real€answer,€that€he€has€no€attitude€ofŠ ĘB ŠHolier€Than€Thou,€nothing€whatever€except€the€sincere€desire€to€be€helpful;€thatŠ ŌP Šthere€are€no€dues€to€pay,€no€axes€to€grind,€no€people€to€please,€no€lectures€to€beŠ ā^ Šendured„„these€are€the€condi„Š  šl Štions€we€have€found€most€effective.€€After€such€an€approach,€many€take€up€theirŠ „ Šbeds€and€walk€again.Š ’ ŠĢą Ü ąNone€of€us€makes€a€sole€vocation€of€this€work,€nor€do€we€think€theŠ ®* Šeffectiveness€would€be€increased€if€we€did,€€We€feel€that€elimination€of€ourŠ ¼8 Šdrinking€is€but€a€beginning.€A€much€more€important€demonstration€of€ourŠ ŹF Šprinciples€lies€before€us€in€our€respective€homes,€occupations€and€affairs.€€All€ofŠ Ų T Šus€spend€much€of€our€spare€time€in€the€sort€of€effort€which€we€are€going€toŠ ę b Šdescribe.€€A€few€are€fortunate€to€be€so€situated€that€they€can€give€nearly€all€theirŠ ō p Štime€to€the€work.Š  ~  ŠĢą Ü ąIf€we€keep€on€the€way€we€are€going€there€is€little€doubt€that€much€good€willŠ š  Šresult,€but€the€surface€of€the€problem€would€hardly€be€scratched.€€Those€of€usŠ ,Ø  Šwho€live€in€large€cities€are€overcome€by€the€reflection€that€close€by€hundreds€areŠ :¶  Šdropping€into€oblivion€every€day.€€Many€could€recover€if€they€had€the€opportunityŠ HÄ Šwe€have€enjoyed.€€How€then€shall€we€present€that€which€has€been€so€freelyŠ VŅ Šgiven€us?Š dą ŠĢą Ü ąWe€have€concluded,€to€publish€an€anonymous€volume€setting€forth€theŠ €ü Šproblem€as€we€see€it.€€We€shall€bring€to€the€task€our€combined€experience€andŠ Ž  Šknowledge.€€This€should€suggest€a€useful€program€for€anyone€concerned€with€aŠ œ Šdrinking€problem.Š Ŗ& ŠĢą Ü ąOf€necessity€there€will€have€to€be€discussion€of€matters€medical,Š ĘB Špsychiatric,€social,€and€religious.€€We€are€aware€that€these€matters€are,€fromŠ ŌP Štheir€very€nature,€controversial.€€Nothing€would€please€us€so€much€as€to€write€aŠ ā^ Šbook€which€would€contain€no€basis€for€contention€or€argument.€€We€shall€do€ourŠ šl Šutmost€to€achieve€that€ideal.€€Most€of€us€sense€that€real€tolerance€of€otherŠ žz Špeople's€shortcomings€and€viewpoints€and€a€respect€for€their€opinion€areŠ  !ˆ Šattitudes€which€make€usŠ  "– Šmore€useful€to€others.€€Our€very€lives,€as€ex„problem€drinkers,€depend€upon€ourŠ „ Šconstant€thought€of€others€and€how€we€may€help€to€meet€their€needs.Š ’ ŠĢą Ü ąYou€may€already€have€asked€yourself€why€it€is€that€all€of€us€became€soŠ ®* Švery€ill€from€drinking.€€Doubtless€you€are€curious€to€discover€how€and€why,€in€theŠ ¼8 Šface€of€expert€opinion€to€the€contrary,€we€have€recovered€from€a€hopelessŠ ŹF Šcondition€of€mind€and€body.€€If€you€are€an€alcoholic€who€wants€to€get€over€it,€youŠ Ų T Šmay€already€be€asking„„"What€do€I€have€to€do?"Š ę b ŠĢą Ü ąIt€is€the€purpose€of€this€book€to€answer€such€questions€specifically.€€WeŠ  ~  Šshall€tell€you€what€we€have€done.€€Before€going€into€a€detailed€discussion,€it€mayŠ Œ  Šbe€well€to€summarize€some€points€as€we€see€them.Š š  ŠĢą Ü ąHow€many€times€people€have€said€to€us:€"I€can€take€it€or€leave€it€alone.€Š :¶  ŠWhy€can't€he?"€€Why€don't€you€drink€like€a€gentleman€or€quit"€€"That€fellow€can'tŠ HÄ Šhandle€his€liquor"€€Why€don't€you€try€beer€and€wine?"€€"Lay€off€the€hard€stuff"€Š VŅ Š"His€will€power€must€be€weak."€€"He€could€stop€if€he€wanted€to."€€"She's€such€aŠ dą Šsweet€girl,€I€should€think€he'd€stop€for€her€sake".€€"The€doctor€told€him€that€if€heŠ rī Šever€drank€again€it€would€kill€him,€but€there€he€is€all€lit€up€again."Š €ü ŠĢą Ü ąNow€these€are€commonplace€observations€on€drinkers€which€we€hear€allŠ œ Šthe€time.€€Back€of€them€is€a€world€of€ignorance€and€misunderstanding.€€We€seeŠ Ŗ& Šthat€these€expressions€refer€to€people€whose€reactions€are€very€different€fromŠ ø4 Šours.Š ĘB ŠĢą Ü ąModerate€drinkers€have€little€trouble€in€giving€up€liquor€entirely,€if€they€haveŠ ā^ Šgood€reason€for€it.€€They€can€take€it€or€leave€it€alone.Š šl ŠĢą Ü ąThen€we€have€a€certain€type€of€hard€drinker.€€He€may€have€the€habit€badlyŠ  !ˆ Šenough€to€gradually€Ō_ŌimpairŠ  "– Šhim€physically€and€mentally.€€it€may€cause€him€to€die€a€few€years€before€his€time.€Š „ ŠI€a€sufficiently€strong€reason„„ill€health,€falling€in€love,€change€of€environment,€orŠ ’ Šthe€warnings€of€a€doctor„„becomes€operative,€this€man€can€also€stop€orŠ   Šmoderate,€although€he€may€find€it€difficult€and€troublesome€and€may€even€needŠ ®* Šmedical€attention.Š ¼8 ŠĢą Ü ąBut€what€about€the€real€alcoholic?€€He€may€start€off€as€a€moderate€drinker;Š Ų T Šhe€may€or€may€not€become€a€continuous€hard€drinker;€but€at€some€stage€of€hisŠ ę b Šdrinking€career€he€begins€to€lose€all€control€of€his€liquor€consumption,€once€heŠ ō p Šstarts€to€drink.Š  ~  ŠĢą Ü ąHere€is€the€fellow€who€has€been€puzzling€you,€especially€in€his€lack€ofŠ š  Šcontrol.€€He€does€absurd,€incredible,€tragic€things€while€drinking.€€He€is€a€real€Dr.Š ,Ø  ŠJekyll€and€Mr.€Hyde.€€He€is€seldom€mildly€intoxicated.€€He€is€always€more€or€lessŠ :¶  Šinsanely€drunk.€€His€disposition€while€drinking€resembles€his€normal€nature€butŠ HÄ Šlittle.€€He€may€be€one€of€the€finest€fellows€in€the€world.€€Yet€let€him€drink€for€aŠ VŅ Šday,€and€he€frequently€becomes€disgustingly,€and€even€dangerously€anti„social.€Š dą ŠHe€has€a€positive€genius€for€getting€tight€at€exactly€the€wrong€moment,Š rī Šparticularly€when€some€important€decision€must€be€made€or€engagement€kept.€Š €ü ŠHe€is€often€perfectly€sensible€and€well€balanced€concerning€everything€exceptŠ Ž  Šliquor,€but€in€that€respect€he€is€incredibly€dishonest€and€selfish.€€He€oftenŠ œ Špossesses€special€abilities,€skills€and€aptitudes,€and€has€a€promising€careerŠ Ŗ& Šahead€of€him.€€He€uses€his€gifts€to€build€up€a€bright€outlook€for€his€family€andŠ ø4 Šhimself,€and€then€pulls€the€structure€down€on€his€head€by€a€senseless€series€ofŠ ĘB Šsprees.€€He€is€the€fellow€who€goes€to€bed€so€intoxicated€he€ought€to€sleep€theŠ ŌP Šclock€around.€€Yet€early€nextŠ  ā^ ŠŌ_Ōmorning€he€searches€for€the€bottle€he€misplaced€the€night€before.€€If€he€canŠ „ Šafford€it,€he€may€have€liquor€concealed€all€over€his€house€to€be€certain€no€oneŠ ’ Šgets€his€entire€supply€away€from€him€to€throw€down€the€wastepipe.€€As€mattersŠ   Šgrow€worse,€he€begins€to€use€a€combination€of€high„powered€sedative€and€liquorŠ ®* Što€quiet€his€nerves€so€he€can€go€to€work.€€Then€comes€the€day€when€he€simplyŠ ¼8 Šcannot€make€it€and€gets€drunk€all€over€again.€€Perhaps€he€goes€to€a€doctor€whoŠ ŹF Šgives€him€morphine€or€some€sedative€with€which€to€taper€off.€€Then€he€begins€toŠ Ų T Šappear€at€hospitals€and€sanitariums.Š ę b ŠĢą Ü ąThis€is€by€no€means€a€comprehensive€picture€of€the€true€alcoholic,€as€ourŠ  ~  Šbehaviour€patterns€vary.€€But€this€description€should€identify€him€roughly.Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąWhy€does€he€behave€like€this?€€If€hundreds€of€experiences€have€shownŠ ,Ø  Šhim€that€one€drink€means€another€debacle€with€all€its€attendant€suffering€andŠ :¶  Šhumiliation,€why€is€it€he€takes€that€one€drink?€€Why€can't€he€stay€on€the€waterŠ HÄ Šwagon?€€What€has€become€of€the€common€sense€and€will€power€that€he€stillŠ VŅ Šsometimes€displays€with€respect€to€other€matters?Š dą ŠĢą Ü ąPerhaps€there€will€never€be€a€full€answer€to€these€questions.€€OpinionsŠ €ü Švary€considerably€as€to€why€the€alcoholic€reacts€differently€from€normal€people.€Š Ž  ŠWe€are€not€sure€why,€once€a€certain€point€is€reached,€little€can€be€done€for€him.€Š œ ŠWe€cannot€answer€the€riddle.Š Ŗ& ŠĢą Ü ąWe€know€that€while€the€alcoholic€keeps€away€from€drink,€as€he€may€do€forŠ ĘB Šmonths€or€years,€he€reacts€much€like€other€men.€€We€are€equally€positive€thatŠ ŌP Šonce€he€takes€any€alcohol€whatever€into€his€system,€something€happens,€both€inŠ ā^ Šthe€bodily€and€mental€sense,€which€makes€it€virtually€impossible€for€him€toŠ  šl Šstop.€€The€experience€of€any€alcoholic€will€abundantly€confirm€this.Š „ ŠĢą Ü ąThese€observations€would€be€academic€and€pointless€if€our€friend€neverŠ   Štook€the€first€drink,€thereby€setting€the€terrible€cycle€in€motion.€€Therefore,€theŠ ®* Šmain€problem€of€the€alcoholic€centers€on€his€mind,€rather€than€in€his€body.€€If€youŠ ¼8 Šask€him€why€he€started€on€that€last€bender,€chances€are€he€will€offer€you€any€oneŠ ŹF Šof€a€hundred€alibis.€€Sometimes€these€excuses€have€a€certain€plausibility,€butŠ Ų T Šnone€of€them€really€makes€sense€in€the€light€of€the€havoc€an€alcoholic's€drinkingŠ ę b Šbout€creates.€€They€sound€like€the€philosophy€of€the€man€who,€having€aŠ ō p Šheadache,€beats€himself€on€the€head€with€a€hammer€so€that€he€can't€feel€theŠ  ~  Šache.€€If€you€draw€this€fallacious€reasoning€to€the€attention€of€an€alcoholic,€he€willŠ Œ  Šlaugh€it€off,€or€become€irritated€and€refuse€to€talk.Š š  ŠĢą Ü ąOnce€in€a€while€he€may€tell€the€truth.€€And€the€truth,€strange€to€say,€isŠ :¶  Šusually€that€he€has€no€more€idea€why€he€took€that€first€drink€than€you€have.€Š HÄ ŠSome€drinkers€have€excuses€with€which€they€are€satisfied€part€of€the€time.€€ButŠ VŅ Šin€their€hearts€they€really€do€not€know€why€they€do€it.€€Once€this€malady€has€aŠ dą Šreal€hold,€they€are€a€baffled€lot.€€There€is€the€obsession€that€somehow,€someday,Š rī Šthey€will€beat€the€game.€€But€they€often€suspect€they€are€down€for€the€count.Š €ü ŠĢą Ü ąHow€true€this€is,€few€realize.€€In€a€vague€way€their€families€and€friendsŠ œ Šsense€that€these€drinkers€are€abnormal,€but€everybody€hopefully€awaits€the€dayŠ Ŗ& Šwhen€the€sufferer€will€arouse€himself€from€his€lethargy€and€assert€his€power€ofŠ ø4 Šwill.Š ĘB ŠĢą Ü ąThe€tragic€truth€is€that€if€the€man€be€a€real€alcoholic,€the€happy€day€mightŠ ā^ Šnot€arrive.€€He€has€lostŠ  šl Šcontrol.€€At€a€certain€point€in€the€drinking€of€every€alcoholic,€he€passes€into€aŠ „ Šstate€where€the€most€powerful€desire€to€stop€drinking€is€of€absolutely€no€avail.€Š ’ ŠThis€tragic€situation€has€already€arrived€in€practically€every€case€long€before€it€isŠ   Šsuspected.Š ®* ŠĢņņą Ü ąThe€fact€is€that€most€alcoholics,€for€reasons€yet€obscure,€have€lost€theŠ ŹF Špower€of€choice€in€drink.€€Our€so„called€will€power€becomes€practicallyŠ Ö R Šnonexistent.€€We€are€unable,€at€certain€times,€to€bring€into€our€consciousnessŠ ā ^ Šwith€sufficient€force€the€memory€of€the€suffering€and€humiliation€of€even€a€weekŠ ī j Šor€a€month€ago.€€We€are€without€defense€against€the€first€drink.óóŠ ś v  ŠĢą Ü ąThe€almost€certain€consequences€that€follow€taking€even€a€glass€of€beerŠ   Šdo€not€crowd€into€the€mind€to€deter€us.€€If€these€thoughts€occur,€they€are€hazyŠ "ž  Šand€readily€supplanted€with€the€old€threadbare€idea€that€this€time€we€shall€handleŠ 0¬  Šourselves€like€other€people.€€There€is€a€complete€failure€of€the€kind€of€defenseŠ >ŗ Šthat€keeps€one€from€putting€his€hand€on€a€hot€stove.Š LČ ŠĢą Ü ąthe€alcoholic€may€say€to€himself€in€the€most€casual€way,€"It€won't€burn€meŠ hä Šthis€time,€so€here's€how!"€€Or€perhaps€he€doesn't€think€at€all.€€How€often€haveŠ vņ Šsome€of€us€begun€to€drink€in€this€nonchalant€way,€and€after€the€third€or€fourth,Š „ Špounded€on€the€bar€and€said€to€ourselves,€"For€God's€sake,€how€did€I€ever€getŠ ’ Šstarted€again?€€Only€to€have€that€thought€supplanted€by€"Well€I'll€stop€with€theŠ   Šsixth€drink."€€Or€"What's€the€use€anyhow?"Š ®* ŠĢą Ü ąWhen€this€sort€of€thinking€is€fully€established€in€an€individual€with€alcoholicŠ ŹF Štendencies,€he€has€probably€placed€himself€beyond€human€aid,€and€unlessŠ ŲT Šlocked€up,€may€die€or€go€permanently€insane.€€These€stark€and€ugly€facts€haveŠ ęb Šbeen€confirmed€by€legions€of€alco„Š  ōp Šholics€throughout€history.€€But€for€the€grace€of€God,€there€would€have€beenŠ „ Šthousands€more€convincing€demonstrations.€€So€many€want€to€stop€but€cannot.Š ’ ŠĢņņą Ü ąThere€is€a€solution.óó€€Almost€none€of€us€liked€the€self„searching,€theŠ ®* Šlevelling€of€our€pride,€the€confession€of€shortcomings€which€the€process€requiresŠ ¼8 Šfor€its€successful€consummation.€€But€we€saw€that€it€really€worked€in€others,€andŠ ŹF Šwe€had€come€to€believe€in€the€hopelessness€and€futility€of€life€as€we€had€beenŠ Ų T Šliving€it.€€When,€therefore,€we€were€approached€by€those€in€whom€the€problemŠ ę b Šhad€been€solved,€there€was€nothing€left€for€us€but€to€pick€up€the€simple€kit€ofŠ ō p Šspiritual€tools€laid€at€our€feet.€€We€have€found€much€of€heaven€and€we€haveŠ  ~  Šbeen€rocketed€into€a€fourth€dimension€of€existence€of€which€we€had€not€evenŠ Œ  Šdreamed.Š š  ŠĢą Ü ąThe€great€fact€is€just€this,€and€nothing€less:€€That€we€have€had€deep€andŠ :¶  Šeffective€spiritual€experiences€which€have€revolutionized€our€whole€attitudeŠ HÄ Štoward€life,€toward€our€fellows,€and€toward€God's€universe.€€The€central€fact€ofŠ VŅ Šour€lives€today€is€the€absolute€certainty€that€our€Creator€has€entered€into€ourŠ dą Šhearts€and€lives€in€a€way€that€is€€indeed€miraculous.€€He€has€commenced€toŠ rī Šaccomplish€those€things€for€us€which€we€could€never€do€by€ourselves.Š €ü ŠĢą Ü ąIf€you€are€as€seriously€alcoholic€as€we€were,€we€believe€there€is€no€middle„Š œ Šof„the„road€solution.€€We€were€in€a€position€where€life€was€becoming€impossible,Š Ŗ& Šand€if€we€had€passed€into€the€region€from€which€there€is€no€return€throughŠ ø4 Šhuman€aid,€we€had€but€two€alternatives:€€One€was€to€go€on€to€the€bitter€end,Š ĘB Šblotting€out€the€consciousness€of€our€intolerable€situation€as€best€we€could;€andŠ ŌP Šthe€other,€to€accept€spiritual€help.€€ThisŠ  ā^ Šwe€did€because€we€honestly€wanted€to,€and€were€willing€to€make€the€effort.Š „ ŠĢą Ü ąA€certain€American€business€man€had€ability,€good€sense,€and€highŠ   Šcharacter.€€For€years€he€had€floundered€from€one€sanitarium€to€another.€€He€hadŠ ®* Šconsulted€the€best€known€American€psychiatrists.€€Then€he€had€gone€to€Europe,Š ¼8 Šplacing€himself€in€the€care€of€a€celebrated€physician€(the€psychiatrist,€Dr.€Jung)Š ŹF Šwho€prescribed€for€him.€Though€experience€had€made€him€skeptical,€he€finishedŠ Ų T Šhis€treatment€with€unusual€confidence.€€His€physical€and€mental€condition€wereŠ ę b Šunusually€good.€€Above€all,€he€believed€he€had€acquired€such€a€profoundŠ ō p Šknowledge€of€the€inner€workings€of€his€mind€and€its€hidden€springs€that€relapseŠ  ~  Šwas€unthinkable.€€Nevertheless,€he€was€drunk€in€a€short€time.€€More€baffling€still,Š Œ  Šhe€could€give€himself€no€satisfactory€explanation€for€his€fall.Š š  ŠĢĢą Ü ąSo€he€returned€to€this€doctor,€whom€he€admired,€and€asked€himŠ HÄ Špoint-blank€why€he€could€not€recover.€€He€wished€above€all€things€to€regainŠ VŅ Šself-control.€€He€seemed€quite€rational€and€well-balanced€with€respect€to€otherŠ dą Šproblems.€€Yet€he€had€no€control€whatever€over€alcohol.€Why€was€this?Š rī ŠĢą Ü ąHe€begged€the€doctor€to€tell€him€the€whole€truth,€and€he€got€it.€€In€theŠ Ž  Šdoctor's€judgment€he€was€utterly€hopeless;€he€could€never€regain€his€position€inŠ œ Šsociety€and€he€would€have€to€place€himself€under€lock€and€key€or€hire€aŠ Ŗ& Šbodyguard€if€he€expected€to€live€long.€€That€was€a€great€physician's€opinion.Š ø4 ŠĢą Ü ąBut€this€man€still€lives,€and€is€a€free€man.€€He€does€not€need€a€bodyguardŠ ŌP Šnor€is€he€confined.€€He€can€go€anywhere€on€this€earth€where€other€from€menŠ ā^ Šmay€go€Š  šl Šwithout€disaster,€provided€he€remains€willing€to€maintain€a€certain€simple€attitude.Š „ ŠĢą Ü ąSome€of€our€alcoholic€readers€may€think€they€can€do€without€spiritual€help.€Š   ŠLet€us€tell€you€the€rest€of€the€conversation€our€friend€had€with€his€doctor.Š ®* ŠĢą Ü ąThe€doctor€said:€"You€have€the€mind€of€a€chronic€alcoholic.€€I€have€neverŠ ŹF Šseen€one€single€case€recover,€where€that€state€of€mind€existed€to€the€extent€thatŠ Ų T Šit€does€in€you."€Our€friend€felt€as€though€the€gates€of€hell€had€closed€on€him€withŠ ę b Ša€clang.Š ō p ŠĢą Ü ąHe€said€to€the€doctor,€"Is€there€no€exception?"Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ą"Yes,"€replied€the€doctor,€"there€is.€€Exceptions€to€cases€such€as€yoursŠ ,Ø  Šhave€been€occurring€since€early€times.€€Here€and€there,€once€in€a€while,Š :¶  Šalcoholics€have€had€what€are€called€vital€spiritual€experiences.€€To€me€theseŠ HÄ Šoccurrences€are€phenomena.€€They€appear€to€be€in€the€nature€of€huge€emotionalŠ VŅ Šdisplacements€and€rearrangements.€€Ideas,€emotions,€and€attitudes€which€wereŠ dą Šonce€the€guiding€forces€of€the€lives€of€these€men€are€suddenly€cast€to€one€side,Š rī Šand€a€completely€new€set€of€conceptions€and€motives€begin€to€dominate€them.€Š €ü ŠIn€fact,€I€have€been€trying€to€produce€some€such€emotional€rearrangement€withinŠ Ž  Šyou.€€With€many€individuals€the€methods€which€I€employed€are€successful,€but€IŠ œ Šhave€never€been€successful€with€an€alcoholic€of€your€description.Š Ŗ& ŠĢą Ü ąUpon€hearing€this,€our€friend€was€somewhat€relieved,€for€he€reflected€that,Š ĘB Šafter€all,€he€was€a€good€church€member.€€This€hope,€however,€was€destroyed€byŠ ŌP Šthe€doctor's€telling€him€that€while€his€religious€convictions€were€very€good,€in€hisŠ ā^ Šcase€they€did€not€spell€the€necessary€vital€spiritual€experience.€Š  šl Šą Ü ąHere€was€the€terrible€dilemma€in€which€our€friend€found€himself€when€heŠ „ Šhad€the€extraordinary€experience,€which€as€we€have€already€told€you,€made€himŠ ’ Ša€free€man.Š   ŠĢą Ü ąWe,€in€our€turn,€sought€the€same€escape€with€all€the€desperation€ofŠ ¼8 Šdrowning€men.€€What€seemed€at€first€a€flimsy€reed,€has€proved€to€be€the€lovingŠ ŹF Šand€powerful€hand€of€God.€€A€new€life€has€been€given€us€or,€if€you€prefer,€"aŠ Ų T Šdesign€for€living"€that€really€works.Š ę b ŠĢą Ü ąThe€distinguished€American€psychologist,€William€James,€in€his€bookŠ  ~  Š"Varieties€of€Religious€Experience,"€indicates€a€multitude€of€ways€in€which€menŠ Œ  Šhave€discovered€God.€€We€have€no€desire€to€convince€anyone€that€there€is€onlyŠ š  Šone€way€by€which€faith€can€be€acquired.€€If€what€we€have€learned€and€felt€andŠ ,Ø  Šseen€means€anything€at€all,€it€means€that€all€of€us,€whatever€our€race,€creed,€orŠ :¶  Šcolor€are€the€children€of€a€living€Creator€with€whom€we€may€form€a€relationshipŠ HÄ Šupon€simple€and€understandable€terms€as€soon€as€we€are€willing€and€honestŠ VŅ Šenough€to€try.€€Those€having€religious€affiliations€will€find€here€nothing€disturbingŠ dą Što€their€beliefs€or€ceremonies.€€There€is€no€friction€among€us€over€such€matters.€Š rī Šą Ü ąWe€think€it€no€concern€of€ours€what€religious€bodies€our€members€identifyŠ €ü Šthemselves€with€as€individuals.€€this€should€be€an€entirely€personal€affair€whichŠ Ž  Šeach€one€decides€for€himself€in€the€light€of€past€associations,€or€his€presentŠ œ Šchoice.€€Not€all€of€join€religious€bodies,€but€most€of€us€favor€such€memberships.Š Ŗ& ŠĢą Ü ąIn€the€following€chapter,€there€appears€an€explanation€of€alcoholism,€as€weŠ ĘB Šunderstand€it,€then€a€chapter€addressed€to€the€agnostic.€€Many€who€once€were€inŠ ŌP Šthis€class€are€now€among€our€members.€€Surprisingly€Š  ā^ Šenough,€we€find€such€convictions€no€great€obstacle€to€a€spiritual€experience.Š „ ŠĢą Ü ąFurther€on,€clear-cut€directions€are€given€showing€how€we€recovered.€Š   ŠThese€are€followed€by€three€dozen€personal€experiences.Š ®* ŠĢą Ü ąEach€individual,€in€the€personal€stories,€describes€in€his€own€language€andŠ ŹF Šfrom€his€own€point€of€view€the€way€he€established€his€relationship€with€God.€Š Ų T ŠThese€give€a€fair€cross€section€of€our€membership€and€a€clear-cut€idea€of€whatŠ ę b Šhas€actually€happened€in€their€lives.Š ō p ŠĢą Ü ąWe€hope€no€one€will€consider€these€self-revealing€accounts€in€bad€taste.€Š Œ  ŠOur€hope€is€that€many€alcoholic€men€and€women,€desperately€in€need,€will€seeŠ š  Šthese€pages,€and€we€believe€that€it€is€Š ,Ø  Šonly€by€fully€disclosing€ourselves€and€our€problems€that€they€will€be€persuaded€toŠ :¶  Šsay,€"Yes,€I€am€one€of€them€too;€I€must€have€this€thing."Š  HÄ ŠŃ€ ŃChapter€3Š „ ŠĢMORE€ABOUT€ALCOHOLISMŠ   ŠĢą Ü ąMost€of€us€have€been€unwilling€to€admit€we€were€real€alcoholics.€€NoŠ ¼8 Šperson€likes€to€think€he€is€bodily€and€mentally€different€from€his€fellows.€Š ŹF ŠTherefore,€it€is€not€surprising€that€our€drinking€careers€have€been€characterizedŠ Ų T Šby€countless€vain€attempts€to€prove€we€could€drink€like€other€people.€€The€ideaŠ ę b Šthat€somehow,€someday€he€will€control€and€enjoy€his€drinking€is€the€greatŠ ō p Šobsession€of€every€abnormal€drinker.€€The€persistence€of€this€illusion€isŠ  ~  Šastonishing.€€Many€pursue€it€into€the€gates€of€insanity€or€death.Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąWe€learned€that€we€had€to€fully€concede€to€our€innermost€selves€that€weŠ ,Ø  Šwere€alcoholics.€€This€is€the€first€step€in€recovery.€€The€delusion€that€we€are€likeŠ :¶  Šother€people,€or€presently€may€be,€has€to€be€smashed.Š HÄ ŠĢą Ü ąWe€alcoholics€are€men€and€women€who€have€lost€the€ability€to€control€ourŠ dą Šdrinking.€€We€know€that€no€real€alcoholic€ņņeveróó€recovers€control.€€All€of€us€felt€atŠ rī Štimes€that€we€were€regaining€control,€but€such€intervals„„usually€brief„„wereŠ €ü Šinevitably€followed€by€still€less€control,€which€led€in€time€to€pitiful€andŠ Ž  Šincomprehensible€demoralization.€€We€are€convinced€to€a€man€that€alcoholics€ofŠ œ Šour€type€are€in€the€grip€of€a€progressive€illness.€€Over€any€considerable€periodŠ Ŗ& Šwe€get€worse,€never€better.Š ø4 ŠĢą Ü ąWe€are€like€men€who€have€lost€their€legs;€they€never€grow€new€ones.€Š ŌP ŠNeither€does€there€appear€to€be€any€kind€of€treatment€which€will€make€alcoholicsŠ ā^ ŠofŠ  šl Š€our€kind€like€other€men.€€We€have€tried€every€imaginable€remedy.€€In€someŠ „ Šinstances€there€has€been€brief€recovery,€followed€always€by€a€still€worse€relapse.€Š ’ ŠPhysicians€who€are€familiar€with€alcoholism€agree€there€is€no€such€thing€aŠ   Šmaking€a€normal€drinker€out€of€an€alcoholic.€€Science€may€one€day€accomplishŠ ®* Šthis,€but€it€hasn't€done€so€yet.Š ¼8 ŠĢą Ü ąDespite€all€we€can€say,€many€who€are€real€alcoholics€are€not€going€toŠ Ų T Šbelieve€they€are€in€that€class.€€By€every€form€of€self-deception€andŠ ę b Šexperimentation,€they€will€try€to€prove€themselves€exceptions€to€the€rule,Š ō p Štherefore€nonalcoholic.€€If€anyone€who€is€showing€inability€to€control€his€drinkingŠ  ~  Šcan€do€the€right-about-face€and€drink€like€a€gentleman,€our€hats€are€off€to€him.€Š Œ  ŠHeaven€knows,€we€have€tried€hard€enough€and€long€enough€to€drink€like€otherŠ š  Špeople!Š ,Ø  ŠĢą Ü ąHere€are€some€of€the€methods€we€have€tried:€Drinking€beer€only,€limitingŠ HÄ Šthe€number€of€drinks,€never€drinking€alone,€never€drinking€in€the€morning,Š VŅ Šdrinking€only€at€home,€never€having€it€in€the€house,€never€drinking€duringŠ dą Šbusiness€hours,€drinking€only€at€parties,€switching€from€scotch€to€brandy,Š rī Šdrinking€only€natural€wines,€agreeing€to€resign€if€ever€drunk€on€the€job,€taking€aŠ €ü Štrip,€not€taking€a€trip,€swearing€off€forever€(with€and€without€a€solemn€oath),Š Ž  Štaking€more€physical€exercise,€reading€inspirational€books,€going€to€health€farmsŠ œ Šand€sanitariums,€accepting€voluntary€commitment€to€asylums„„we€could€increaseŠ Ŗ& Šthe€list€ad€infinitum.Š ø4 ŠĢą Ü ąWe€do€not€like€to€pronounce€any€individual€as€alcoholic,€but€you€canŠ ŌP Šquickly€diagnose€yourself,€step€over€to€the€nearest€barroom€and€try€someŠ ā^ Šcontrolled€drinking.€€Try€to€drink€and€stop€abruptly.€€Try€itŠ  šl Š€more€than€once.€€It€will€not€take€long€for€you€to€decide,€if€you€are€honest€withŠ „ Šyourself€about€it.€€It€may€be€worth€a€bad€case€of€jitters€if€you€get€a€full€knowledgeŠ ’ Šof€your€condition.Š   ŠĢą Ü ąThough€there€is€no€way€of€proving€it,€we€believe€that€early€in€our€drinkingŠ ¼8 Šcareers€most€of€us€could€have€stopped€drinking.€€But€the€difficulty€is€that€fewŠ ŹF Šalcoholics€have€enough€desire€to€stop€while€there€is€yet€time.€€We€have€heard€ofŠ Ų T Ša€few€instances€where€people,€who€showed€definite€signs€of€alcoholism,€wereŠ ę b Šable€to€stop€for€a€long€period€because€of€an€overpowering€desire€to€do€so.€€HereŠ ō p Šis€one.Š  ~  ŠĢą Ü ąA€man€of€thirty€was€doing€a€great€deal€of€spree€drinking.€He€was€veryŠ š  Šnervous€in€the€morning€after€these€bouts€and€quieted€himself€with€more€liquor.€Š ,Ø  ŠHe€was€ambitious€to€succeed€in€business,€but€saw€that€he€would€get€nowhere€ifŠ :¶  Šhe€drank€at€all.€€Once€he€started,€he€had€no€control€whatever.€€He€made€up€hisŠ HÄ Šmind€that€until€he€had€been€successful€in€business€and€had€retired,€he€would€notŠ VŅ Štouch€another€drop.€€An€exceptional€man,€he€remained€bone€dry€for€twenty-fiveŠ dą Šyears€and€retired€at€the€age€of€fifty-five,€after€a€successful€and€happy€businessŠ rī Šcareer.€Then€he€fell€victim€to€a€belief€which€practically€every€alcoholic€has,thatŠ €ü Šhis€long€period€of€sobriety€and€self-discipline€had€qualified€him€to€drink€as€otherŠ Ž  Šmen.€Out€came€his€carpet€slippers€and€a€bottle.€€In€two€months€he€was€in€aŠ œ Šhospital,€puzzled€and€humiliated.€€He€tried€to€regulate€his€drinking€for€a€littleŠ Ŗ& Šwhile,€making€several€trips€to€the€hospital€meantime.€€Then,€gathering€all€hisŠ ø4 Šforces,€he€attempted€to€stop€altogether€and€found€he€could€not.€€Every€means€ofŠ ĘB Šsolving€his€problem€whichŠ  ŌP Šmoney€could€buy€was€at€his€disposal.€€Every€attempt€failed.€€Though€a€robustŠ „ Šman€at€retirement,€he€went€to€pieces€quickly€and€was€dead€within€four€years.Š ’ ŠĢą Ü ąThis€case€contains€a€powerful€lesson.€€most€of€us€have€believed€that€if€weŠ ®* Šremained€sober€for€a€long€stretch,€we€could€thereafter€drink€normally.€€But€hereŠ ¼8 Šis€a€man€who€at€fifty-five€years€found€he€was€just€where€he€had€left€off€at€thirty.€Š ŹF ŠWe€have€seen€the€truth€demonstrated€again€and€again:€"Once€an€alcoholic,Š Ų T Šalways€an€alcoholic."€€Commencing€to€drink€after€a€period€of€sobriety,€we€are€in€aŠ ę b Šshort€time€as€bad€as€ever.€€If€we€are€planning€to€stop€drinking€,€there€must€be€noŠ ō p Šreservation€of€any€kind,€nor€any€lurking€notion€that€someday€we€will€be€immuneŠ  ~  Što€alcohol.Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąYoung€people€may€be€encouraged€by€this€man's€experience€to€think€thatŠ ,Ø  Šthey€can€stop,€as€he€did,€on€their€own€will€power.€€We€doubt€if€many€of€them€canŠ :¶  Šdo€it,€because€none€will€really€want€to€stop,€and€hardly€one€of€them,€because€ofŠ HÄ Šthe€peculiar€mental€twist€already€acquired,€will€find€he€can€win€out.€€Several€ofŠ VŅ Šour€crowd,€men€of€thirty€or€less,€had€been€drinking€only€a€few€years,€but€theyŠ dą Šfound€themselves€as€helpless€as€those€who€had€been€drinking€twenty€years.Š rī ŠĢą Ü ąTo€be€gravely€affected,€one€does€not€necessarily€have€to€drink€a€long€timeŠ Ž  Šnor€take€the€quantities€some€of€us€have.€€This€is€particularly€true€of€women.€Š œ ŠPotential€female€alcoholics€often€turn€into€the€real€thing€and€are€gone€beyondŠ Ŗ& Šrecall€in€a€few€years.€€Certain€drinkers,€who€would€be€greatly€insulted€if€calledŠ ø4 Šalcoholics,€are€astonished€at€their€inability€to€stop.€€We,€who€are€familiar€with€theŠ ĘB Šsymptoms,€see€large€numbers€of€potential€alcoholics€among€youngŠ  ŌP Š€people€everywhere.€€But€try€and€get€them€to€see€it!Š „ ŠĢą Ü ąAs€we€look€back,€we€feel€we€had€gone€on€drinking€many€years€beyond€theŠ   Špoint€where€we€could€quit€on€our€will€power.€€If€anyone€questions€whether€he€hasŠ ®* Šentered€this€dangerous€area,€let€him€try€leaving€liquor€alone€for€one€year.€€If€he€isŠ ¼8 Ša€real€alcoholic€and€very€far€advanced,€there€is€scant€chance€of€success.€€In€theŠ ŹF Šearly€days€of€our€drinking€we€occasionally€remained€sober€for€a€year€or€more,Š Ų T Šbecoming€serious€drinkers€again€later.€€Though€you€may€be€able€to€stop€for€aŠ ę b Šconsiderable€period,€you€may€yet€be€a€potential€alcoholic.€€We€think€few,€toŠ ō p Šwhom€this€book€will€appeal,€can€stay€dry€anything€like€a€year.€Some€will€be€drunkŠ  ~  Šthe€day€after€making€their€resolutions;€most€of€them€within€a€few€weeks.Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąFor€those€who€are€unable€to€drink€moderately€the€question€is€how€to€stopŠ ,Ø  Šaltogether.€€We€are€assuming,€of€course,€that€the€reader€desires€to€stop.€Š :¶  ŠWhether€such€a€person€can€quit€upon€a€nonspiritual€basis€depends€upon€theŠ HÄ Šextent€to€which€he€has€already€lost€the€power€to€choose€whether€he€will€drink€orŠ VŅ Šnot.€€Many€of€us€felt€that€we€had€plenty€of€character.€€There€was€a€tremendousŠ dą Šurge€to€cease€forever.€€Yet€we€found€it€impossible.€€This€is€the€baffling€feature€ofŠ rī Šalcoholism€as€we€know€it„„this€utter€inability€to€leave€it€alone,€no€matter€how€greatŠ €ü Šthe€necessity€or€the€wish.Š Ž  ŠĢą Ü ąHow€then€shall€we€help€our€readers€determine,€to€their€own€satisfaction,Š Ŗ& Šwhether€they€are€one€of€us?€The€experiment€of€quitting€for€a€period€of€time€willŠ ø4 Šbe€helpful,€but€we€think€we€can€render€an€even€greater€service€to€alcoholicŠ ĘB Šsufferers€and€perhaps€to€the€medi„Š  ŌP Šcal€fraternity.€€So€we€shall€describe€some€of€the€mental€states€that€precede€aŠ „ Šrelapse€into€drinking,€for€obviously€this€is€the€crux€of€the€problem.Š ’ ŠĢą Ü ąWhat€sort€of€thinking€dominates€an€alcoholic€who€repeats€time€after€timeŠ ®* Šthe€desperate€experiment€of€the€first€drink?€Friends€who€have€reasoned€with€himŠ ¼8 Šafter€a€spree€which€has€brought€him€to€the€point€of€divorce€or€bankruptcy€areŠ ŹF Šmystified€when€he€walks€directly€into€a€saloon.€€Why€does€he?€Of€what€is€heŠ Ų T Šthinking?Š ę b ŠĢą Ü ąOur€first€example€is€a€friend€we€shall€call€Jim.€€This€man€has€a€charmingŠ  ~  Šwife€and€family.€€He€inherited€a€lucrative€automobile€agency.€€He€had€aŠ Œ  Šcommendable€World€War€record.€€He€is€a€good€salesman.€€Everybody€likes€him.Š š  ŠHe€is€an€intelligent€man,€normal€so€far€as€we€can€see,€except€for€a€nervousŠ ,Ø  Šdisposition.€€He€did€no€drinking€until€he€was€thirty-five.€€In€a€few€years€he€becameŠ :¶  Šso€violent€when€intoxicated€that€he€had€to€be€committed.€€On€leaving€the€asylumŠ HÄ Šhe€came€into€contact€with€us.Š VŅ Šą Ü ąWe€told€him€what€we€knew€of€alcoholism€and€the€answer€we€had€found.€Š dą ŠHe€made€a€beginning.€€His€family€was€re-assembled,€and€he€began€to€work€as€aŠ rī Šsalesman€for€the€business€he€had€lost€through€drinking.€€All€went€well€for€a€time,Š €ü Šbut€he€failed€to€enlarge€his€spiritual€life.€€To€his€consternation,€he€found€himselfŠ Ž  Šdrunk€half€a€dozen€times€in€rapid€succession.€€On€each€of€these€occasions€weŠ œ Šworked€with€him,€reviewing€carefully€what€had€happened.€He€agreed€he€was€aŠ Ŗ& Šreal€alcoholic€and€in€a€serious€condition.€€He€knew€he€faced€another€trip€to€theŠ ø4 Šasylum€if€he€kept€on.€€Moreover,€he€would€lose€his€family€for€whom€he€had€aŠ ĘB Šdeep€affection.Š  ŌP Š€€€Yet€he€got€drunk€again.€€we€asked€him€to€tell€us€exactly€how€it€happened.€€ThisŠ „ Šis€his€story:€"I€came€to€work€on€Tuesday€morning.€€I€remember€I€felt€irritated€that€IŠ ’ Šhad€to€be€a€salesman€for€a€concern€I€once€owned.€€I€had€a€few€words€with€theŠ   Šbrass,€but€nothing€serious.€€Then€I€decided€to€drive€to€the€country€and€see€one€ofŠ ®* Šmy€prospects€for€a€car.€€On€the€way€I€felt€hungry€so€I€stopped€at€a€roadside€placeŠ ¼8 Šwhere€they€have€a€bar.€€I€had€no€intention€of€drinking.€€I€just€thought€I€would€get€aŠ ŹF Šsandwich.€€I€also€had€the€notion€that€I€might€find€a€customer€for€a€car€at€thisŠ Ų T Šplace,€which€was€familiar€for€I€had€been€going€to€it€for€years.€€I€had€eaten€thereŠ ę b Šmany€times€during€the€months€I€was€sober.€€I€sat€down€at€a€table€and€ordered€aŠ ō p Šsandwich€and€a€glass€of€milk.€€Still€no€thought€of€drinking.€€I€ordered€anotherŠ  ~  Šsandwich€and€decided€to€have€another€glass€of€milk.Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąņņ"Suddenly€the€thought€crossed€my€mind€that€if€I€were€to€put€an€ounce€ofŠ ,Ø  Šwhiskey€in€my€milk€it€couldn't€hurt€me€on€a€full€stomach.€€I€ordered€a€whiskey€andŠ 8“  Špoured€it€into€the€milk.€€I€vaguely€sense€I€was€not€being€any€too€smart,€but€IŠ DĄ Šreassured€as€I€was€taking€the€whiskey€on€a€full€stomach.óó€€The€experiment€wentŠ PĢ Šso€well€that€I€ordered€another€whiskey€and€poured€it€into€more€milk.€€That€didn'tŠ ^Ś Šseem€to€bother€me€so€I€tried€another."€Š lč Šą Ü ąThus€started€one€more€journey€to€the€asylum€for€Jim.€Here€was€the€threatŠ zö Šof€commitment,€the€loss€of€family€and€position,€to€say€nothing€of€that€intenseŠ ˆ Šmental€and€physical€suffering€which€drinking€always€caused€him.€€ņņHe€had€muchŠ – Šknowledge€about€himself€as€an€alcoholic.€€Yet€all€reasons€for€not€drinking€wereŠ  ¤  Šeasily€pushed€aside€in€favor€of€the€foolish€idea€that€he€could€take€whiskey€if€onlyŠ „ Šhe€mixed€it€with€milk!óóŠ   ŠĢą Ü ąWhatever€the€precise€definition€of€the€word€may€be,€we€call€this€plainŠ Ŗ& Šinsanity.€€How€can€such€a€lack€of€proportion,€of€the€ability€to€think€straight,€beŠ ø4 Šcalled€anything€else?Š ĘB ŠĢą Ü ąYou€may€think€this€an€extreme€case.€€To€us€it€is€not€far-fetched,€for€thisŠ ā ^ Škind€of€thinking€has€been€characteristic€of€every€single€one€of€us.€€We€haveŠ š l Šsometimes€reflected€more€than€Jim€did€upon€the€consequences.€€But€there€wasŠ ž z  Šalways€the€curious€mental€phenomenon€that€parallel€with€our€sound€reasoningŠ  ˆ  Šthere€inevitably€ran€some€insanely€trivial€excuse€for€taking€the€first€drink.€€OurŠ –  Šsound€reasoning€failed€to€hold€us€in€check.€€The€insane€idea€won€out.€€Next€dayŠ (¤  Šwe€would€ask€ourselves,€in€all€earnestness€and€sincerity,€how€it€could€haveŠ 6²  Šhappened.Š DĄ ŠĢą Ü ąIn€some€circumstances€we€have€gone€out€deliberately€to€get€drunk,€feelingŠ `Ü Šourselves€justified€by€nervousness,€anger,€worry,€depression,€jealousy€or€theŠ nź Šlike.€€But€even€in€this€type€of€beginning€we€are€obliged€to€admit€that€ourŠ |ų Šjustification€for€a€spree€was€insanely€insufficient€in€the€light€of€what€alwaysŠ Š Šhappened.€€We€now€see€that€when€we€began€to€drink€deliberately,€instead€orŠ ˜ Šcasually,€there€was€little€serious€or€effective€thought€during€the€period€ofŠ ¦" Špremeditation€of€what€the€terrific€consequences€might€be.Š “0 ŠĢą Ü ąOur€behavior€is€as€absurd€and€incomprehensible€with€respect€to€the€firstŠ ŠL Šdrink€as€that€of€an€individual€with€a€passion,€say,€for€jay-walking.€€He€gets€a€thrillŠ ŽZ Šout€of€skipping€in€front€of€fast-moving€vehicles.€€He€enjoys€himself€for€a€few€yearsŠ ģh Šin€spite€of€friendly€warnings.€Up€to€this€point€you€would€label€him€as€a€foolishŠ  śv Šchap€having€queer€ideas€of€fun.€€Luck€then€deserts€him€and€he€is€slightly€injuredŠ „ Šseveral€times€in€succession.€You€would€expect€him,€if€he€were€normal,€to€cut€itŠ ’ Šout.€Presently€he€is€hit€again€and€this€time€has€a€fractured€skull.€€Within€a€weekŠ   Šafter€leaving€the€hospital€a€fast-moving€trolley€car€breaks€his€arm.€€He€tells€youŠ ®* Šhe€has€decided€to€stop€jay-walking€for€good,€but€in€a€few€weeks€he€breaks€bothŠ ¼8 Šlegs.Š ŹF ŠĢą Ü ąOn€through€the€years€this€conduct€continues,€accompanied€by€his€continualŠ ę b Špromises€to€be€careful€or€to€keep€off€the€streets€altogether.€€Finally,€he€can€noŠ ō p Šlonger€work,€his€wife€gets€a€divorce€and€he€is€held€up€to€ridicule.€He€tries€everyŠ  ~  Šknown€means€to€get€the€jaywalking€idea€out€of€his€head.€€He€shuts€himself€up€inŠ Œ  Šan€asylum,€hoping€to€mend€his€ways.€€But€the€day€he€comes€out€he€races€in€frontŠ š  Šof€a€fire€engine,€which€breaks€his€back.€€Such€a€man€would€be€crazy,€wouldn'tŠ ,Ø  Šhe?Š :¶  ŠĢą Ü ąYou€may€think€our€illustration€is€too€ridiculous.€€But€is€it?€We,€who€haveŠ VŅ Šbeen€through€the€wringer,€have€to€admit€if€we€substituted€alcoholism€forŠ dą Šjay-walking,€the€illustration€would€fit€exactly.€€However€intelligent€we€may€haveŠ rī Šbeen€in€other€respects,€where€alcohol€has€been€involved,€we€have€beenŠ €ü Šstrangely€insane.€€It's€strong€language,but€isn't€it€true?Š Ž  ŠĢą Ü ąSome€of€you€are€thinking:€"Yes,€what€you€tell€is€true,€but€it€doesn't€fullyŠ Ŗ& Šapply.€€We€admit€we€have€some€of€these€symptoms,€but€we€have€not€gone€to€theŠ ø4 Šextremes€you€fellows€did,€nor€are€we€likely€to,€for€we€understand€ourselves€soŠ ĘB Šwell€after€what€you€have€told€us€that€such€things€cannot€happen€again.€€We€haveŠ ŌP Šnot€lost€everything€in€life€through€drinking€and€weŠ  ā^ Šcertainly€do€not€intend€to.€€Thanks€for€the€information."Š „ ŠĢą Ü ąThat€may€be€true€of€certain€nonalcoholic€people€who,€though€drinkingŠ   Šfoolishly€and€heavily€at€the€present€time,€are€able€to€stop€or€moderate,€becauseŠ ®* Štheir€brains€and€bodies€have€not€been€damaged€as€ours€were.€€But€the€actual€orŠ ¼8 Špotential€alcoholic,€with€hardly€any€exception,€ņņwill€be€absolutely€unable€to€stopŠ ŹF Šdrinking€on€the€basis€of€self-knowledge.óó€€This€is€a€point€we€wish€to€emphasizeŠ Ų T Šand€re-emphasize,€to€smash€home€upon€our€alcoholic€readers€as€it€has€beenŠ ę b Šrevealed€to€us€out€of€bitter€experience.€€Let€us€take€another€illustration.Š ō p ŠĢą Ü ąFred€is€a€partner€in€a€well€known€accounting€firm.€€His€income€is€good,€heŠ Œ  Šhas€a€fine€home,€is€happily€married€and€the€father€of€promising€children€ofŠ š  Šcollege€age.€€He€has€so€attractive€a€personality€that€he€makes€friends€withŠ ,Ø  Ševeryone.€€If€ever€there€was€a€successful€business€man,€it€is€Fred.€€To€allŠ :¶  Šappearance€he€is€a€stable,€well€balanced€individual.€€Yet,€he€is€alcoholic.€€WeŠ HÄ Šfirst€saw€Fred€about€a€year€ago€in€a€hospital€where€he€had€gone€to€recover€fromŠ VŅ Ša€bad€case€of€jitters.€€It€was€his€first€experience€of€this€kind,€and€he€was€muchŠ dą Šashamed€of€it.€Far€from€admitting€he€was€an€alcoholic€,€he€told€himself€he€cameŠ rī Što€the€hospital€to€rest€his€nerves.€€The€doctor€intimated€strongly€that€he€might€beŠ €ü Šworse€than€he€realized.€€For€a€few€days€he€was€depressed€about€his€condition.€Š Ž  ŠHe€made€up€his€mind€to€quit€drinking€altogether.€€It€never€occurred€to€him€thatŠ œ Šperhaps€he€could€not€do€so,€in€spite€of€his€character€and€standing.€Fred€wouldŠ Ŗ& Šnot€believe€himself€an€alcoholic,€much€less€accept€a€spiritual€remedy€for€hisŠ ø4 Šproblem.€€We€told€him€whatŠ  ĘB Šwe€knew€about€alcoholism.€€He€was€interested€and€conceded€that€he€had€someŠ „ Šof€the€symptoms,€but€he€was€a€long€way€from€admitting€that€he€could€do€nothingŠ ’ Šabout€it€himself.€He€was€positive€that€this€humiliating€experience,€plus€theŠ   Šknowledge€he€had€acquired,€would€keep€him€sober€the€rest€of€his€life.€Š ®* ŠSelf-knowledge€would€fix€it.Š ¼8 ŠĢą Ü ąWe€heard€no€more€of€Fred€for€a€while.€€One€day€we€were€told€that€he€wasŠ Ų T Šback€in€the€hospital.€€This€time€he€was€quite€shaky.€€He€soon€indicated€he€wasŠ ę b Šanxious€to€see€us.€The€story€he€told€is€most€instructive,€for€here€was€a€chapŠ ō p Šabsolutely€convinced€he€had€to€stop€drinking,€who€had€no€excuse€for€drinking,Š  ~  Šwho€exhibited€splendid€judgment€and€determination€in€all€his€other€concerns,€yetŠ Œ  Šwas€flat€on€his€back€nevertheless.Š š  ŠĢą Ü ąLet€him€tell€you€about€it:€"I€was€much€impressed€with€what€you€fellows€saidŠ :¶  Šabout€alcoholism,€and€I€frankly€did€not€believe€it€would€be€possible€for€me€toŠ HÄ Šdrink€again.€I€rather€appreciated€your€ideas€about€the€subtle€insanity€whichŠ VŅ Šprecedes€the€first€drink,€but€I€was€confident€it€could€not€happen€to€me€after€what€IŠ dą Šhad€learned.€€I€reasoned€I€was€not€so€far€advanced€as€most€of€you€fellows,€that€IŠ rī Šhad€been€usually€successful€in€licking€my€other€personal€problems,€and€that€IŠ €ü Šwould€therefore€be€successful€where€you€men€failed.€€I€felt€I€had€every€right€to€beŠ Ž  Šself-confident,€that€it€would€be€only€a€matter€of€exercising€my€will€power€andŠ œ Škeeping€on€guard.Š Ŗ& ŠĢą Ü ą"In€this€frame€of€mind,€I€went€about€my€business€and€for€a€time€all€was€well.€Š ĘB ŠI€had€no€trouble€refusing€drinks,€and€began€to€wonder€if€I€had€not€been€makingŠ ŌP Štoo€hard€work€of€a€simple€matter.€€One€day€I€went€to€Washington€to€presentŠ ā^ Šsome€accounting€evidence€toŠ  šl Ša€government€bureau.€€I€had€been€out€of€town€before€during€this€particular€dryŠ „ Šspell,€so€there€was€nothing€new€about€that.€€Physically,€I€felt€fine.€€Neither€did€IŠ ’ Šhave€any€pressing€problems€or€worries.€€My€business€came€off€well,€I€wasŠ   Špleased€and€knew€my€partners€would€be€too.€€It€was€the€end€of€a€perfect€day,€notŠ ®* Ša€cloud€on€the€horizon.Š ¼8 ŠĢą Ü ą"I€went€to€my€hotel€and€leisurely€dressed€for€dinner.€€ņņAs€I€crossed€theŠ Ų T Šthreshold€of€the€dining€room,€the€thought€came€to€mind€that€it€would€be€nice€toŠ ę b Šhave€a€couple€of€cocktails€with€dinner.€€That€was€all.€€Nothing€more.óó€€I€ordered€aŠ ņ n Šcocktail€and€my€meal.€€Then€I€ordered€another€cocktail.€€After€dinner€I€decided€toŠ  |  Štake€a€walk.€€When€I€returned€to€the€hotel€it€struck€me€a€highball€would€be€fineŠ Š  Šbefore€going€to€bed,€so€I€stepped€into€the€bar€and€had€one.€€I€remember€havingŠ ˜  Šseveral€more€that€night€and€plenty€next€morning.€€I€have€a€shadowy€recollectionŠ *¦  Šof€being€in€a€airplane€bound€for€New€York,€and€of€finding€a€friendly€taxicab€driverŠ 8“  Šat€the€landing€field€instead€of€my€wife.€€The€driver€escorted€me€for€several€days.€Š FĀ ŠI€know€little€of€where€I€went€or€what€I€said€and€did.€€Then€came€the€hospital€withŠ TŠ Šthe€unbearable€mental€and€physical€suffering.Š bŽ ŠĢą Ü ą"As€soon€as€I€regained€my€ability€to€think,€I€went€carefully€over€that€eveningŠ ~ś Šin€Washington.€€ņņNot€only€had€I€been€off€guard,€I€had€made€no€fight€whateverŠ Œ Šagainst€the€first€drink.€€This€time€I€had€not€thought€of€the€consequences€at€all.óó€€IŠ š Šhad€commenced€to€drink€as€carelessly€as€thought€the€cocktails€were€ginger€ale.€Š Ø$ ŠI€now€remembered€what€my€alcoholic€friends€had€told€me,€how€they€prophesiedŠ ¶2 Šthat€if€I€had€an€alcoholic€mind,€the€time€and€place€would€come„„I€would€drinkŠ  Ä@ Šagain.€€They€had€said€that€though€I€did€raise€a€defense,€it€would€one€day€giveŠ „ Šway€before€some€trivial€reason€for€having€a€drink.€€Well,€just€that€did€happen€andŠ ’ Šmore,€for€what€I€had€learned€of€alcoholism€did€not€occur€to€me€at€all.€€I€knew€fromŠ   Šthat€moment€that€I€had€an€alcoholic€mind.€€I€saw€that€will€power€andŠ ®* Šself-knowledge€would€not€help€in€those€strange€mental€blank€spots.€€I€had€neverŠ ¼8 Šbeen€able€to€understand€people€who€said€that€a€problem€had€them€hopelesslyŠ ŹF Šdefeated.€€I€knew€then.€€It€was€the€crushing€blow.Š Ų T ŠĢą Ü ą"Two€of€the€members€of€Alcoholics€Anonymous€came€to€see€me.€€TheyŠ ō p Šgrinned,€which€I€didn't€like€so€much,€and€then€asked€me€if€I€thought€myselfŠ  ~  Šalcoholic€and€if€I€were€really€licked€this€time.€€I€had€to€concede€both€propositions.€Š Œ  ŠThey€piled€on€me€heaps€of€evidence€to€the€effect€that€an€alcoholic€mentality,Š š  Šsuch€as€I€had€exhibited€in€Washington,€was€hopeless€condition.€€They€citedŠ ,Ø  Šcases€out€of€their€own€experience€by€the€dozen.€This€process€snuffed€out€theŠ :¶  Šlast€flicker€of€conviction€that€I€could€do€the€job€myself.Š HÄ ŠĢą Ü ą"Then€they€outlined€the€spiritual€answer€and€program€of€action€which€aŠ dą Šhundred€of€them€had€followed€successfully.€Though€I€had€been€only€a€nominalŠ rī Šchurchman,€their€proposals€were€not,€intellectually,€hard€to€swallow.€€But€theŠ €ü Šprogram€of€action,€though€entirely€sensible,€was€pretty€drastic.€€It€meant€I€wouldŠ Ž  Šhave€to€throw€several€lifelong€conceptions€out€of€the€window.€€That€was€not€easy.€Š œ ŠBut€the€moment€I€made€up€my€mind€to€go€through€with€the€process,€I€had€theŠ Ŗ& Šcurious€feeling€that€my€alcoholic€condition€was€relieved,€as€in€fact€it€proved€to€be.€Š ø4 ŠĢą Ü ą"Quite€as€important€was€the€discovery€that€spiritual€principles€would€solveŠ ŌP Šall€my€problems.€€I€have€sinceŠ  ā^ Šbeen€brought€into€a€way€of€living€infinitely€more€satisfying€and,€I€hope,€moreŠ „ Šuseful€than€the€life€I€lived€before.€€My€old€manner€of€life€was€by€no€means€a€badŠ ’ Šone,€but€I€would€not€exchange€its€best€moments€for€the€worst€I€have€now.€€IŠ   Šwould€not€go€back€to€it€even€if€I€could."Š ®* ŠĢą Ü ąFred's€story€speaks€for€itself.€€We€hope€it€strikes€home€to€thousands€likeŠ ŹF Šhim.€€He€had€felt€only€the€first€nip€of€the€wringer.€€Most€alcoholics€have€to€beŠ Ų T Špretty€badly€mangled€before€they€really€commence€to€solve€their€problems.Š ę b ŠĢą Ü ąMany€doctors€and€psychiatrists€agree€with€our€conclusions.€€One€of€theseŠ  ~  Šmen,€staff€member€of€a€world-renowned€hospital,€recently€made€this€statement€toŠ Œ  Šsome€of€us:€"What€you€say€about€the€general€hopelessness€of€the€averageŠ š  Šalcoholics'€plight€is,€in€my€opinion,€correct.€€As€to€two€of€you€men,€whose€stories€IŠ ,Ø  Šhave€heard,€there€is€no€doubt€in€my€mind€that€you€were€100%€hopeless,€apartŠ :¶  Šfrom€divine€help.€€Had€you€offered€yourselves€as€patients€at€this€hospital,€I€wouldŠ HÄ Šnot€have€taken€you,€if€I€had€been€able€to€avoid€it.€€People€like€you€are€tooŠ VŅ Šheartbreaking.€€Though€not€a€religious€person,€I€have€profound€respect€for€theŠ dą Šspiritual€approach€in€such€cases€as€yours.€€For€most€cases,€there€is€virtually€noŠ rī Šother€solution."€Š €ü Šą Ü ąOnce€more:€The€alcoholic€at€certain€times€has€no€effective€mental€defenseŠ Ž  Šagainst€the€first€drink.€€Except€in€a€few€cases,€neither€he€nor€any€other€humanŠ œ Šbeing€can€provide€such€a€defense.€€His€defense€must€come€from€a€HigherŠ Ŗ& ŠPower.Š  ø4 ŠŃ€ ŃChapter€4Š „ ŠĢWE€AGNOSTICSŠ   ŠĢą Ü ąIn€the€preceding€chapters€you€have€learned€something€of€alcoholism.€€weŠ ¼8 Šhope€we€have€made€clear€the€distinction€between€the€alcoholic€and€theŠ ŹF Šnon-alcoholic.€€If,€when€you€honestly€want€to,€you€find€you€cannot€quit€entirely,€orŠ Ų T Šif€when€drinking,€you€have€little€control€over€the€amount€you€take,€you€areŠ ę b Šprobably€alcoholic.€€If€that€be€the€case,€you€may€be€suffering€from€an€illnessŠ ō p Šwhich€only€a€spiritual€experience€will€conquer.Š  ~  ŠĢTo€one€who€feels€he€is€an€atheist€or€agnostic€such€an€experience€seemsŠ š  Šimpossible,€but€to€continue€as€he€is€means€disaster,€especially€if€he€is€anŠ ,Ø  Šalcoholic€of€the€hopeless€variety.€€To€be€doomed€to€an€alcoholic€death€or€to€liveŠ :¶  Šon€a€spiritual€basis€are€not€always€easy€alternatives€toŠ HÄ Šface.Š VŅ ŠĢą Ü ąBut€it€isn't€so€difficult.€€About€half€our€original€fellowship€were€of€exactly€thatŠ rī Štype.€€At€first€some€of€us€tried€to€avoid€the€issue,€hoping€against€hope€we€wereŠ €ü Šnot€true€alcoholics.€€But€after€a€while€we€had€to€face€the€fact€that€we€must€find€aŠ Ž  Šspiritual€basis€of€life€--€or€else.€€Perhaps€it€is€going€to€be€that€way€with€you.€ButŠ œ Šcheer€up,€something€like€half€of€us€thought€we€were€atheists€or€agnostics.€€OurŠ Ŗ& Šexperience€shows€that€you€need€not€be€disconcerted.Š ø4 ŠĢą Ü ąIf€a€mere€code€of€morals€or€a€better€philosophy€of€life€were€sufficient€toŠ ŌP Šovercome€alcoholism,€many€of€usŠ  ā^ Šwould€have€recovered€long€ago.€€But€we€found€that€such€codes€and€philosophiesŠ „ Šdid€not€save€us,€no€matter€how€much€we€tried.€€We€could€wish€to€be€moral,€weŠ ’ Šcould€wish€to€be€philosophically€comforted,€in€fact,€we€could€will€these€things€withŠ   Šall€our€might,€but€the€needed€power€wasn't€there.€€Our€human€resources,€asŠ ®* Šmarshalled€by€the€will,€were€not€sufficient;€they€failed€utterly.Š ¼8 ŠĢą Ü ąLack€of€power,€that€was€our€dilemma.€€we€had€to€find€a€power€by€which€weŠ Ų T Šcould€live,€and€it€had€to€be€a€ņņPower€greater€than€ourselvesóó,€Obviously.€€ButŠ ę b Šwhere€and€how€were€we€to€find€this€Power?Š ō p ŠĢą Ü ąWell,€that's€exactly€what€this€book€is€about.€€Its€main€object€is€to€enableŠ Œ  Šyou€to€find€a€Power€greater€than€yourself€which€will€solve€your€problem.€€ThatŠ š  Šmeans€we€have€written€a€book€which€we€believe€to€be€spiritual€as€well€as€moral.€Š ,Ø  ŠAnd€it€means,€of€course,€that€we€are€going€to€talk€about€God.€€Here€difficultyŠ :¶  Šarises€with€agnostics.€€Many€times€we€talk€to€a€new€man€and€watch€his€hope€riseŠ HÄ Šas€we€discuss€his€alcoholic€problems€and€explain€our€fellowship.€€But€his€faceŠ VŅ Šfalls€when€we€speak€of€spiritual€matters,€especially€when€we€mention€God,€for€weŠ dą Šhave€re-opened€a€subject€which€our€man€thought€he€had€neatly€evaded€orŠ rī Šentirely€ignored.Š €ü ŠĢą Ü ąWe€know€how€he€feels.€€We€have€shared€his€honest€doubt€and€prejudice.€Š œ ŠSome€of€us€have€been€violently€anti-religious.€€To€others,€the€word€"God"€broughtŠ Ŗ& Šup€a€particular€idea€of€Him€with€which€someone€had€tried€to€impress€them€duringŠ ø4 Šchildhood.€€Perhaps€we€rejected€this€particular€conception€because€it€seemedŠ ĘB Šinadequate.€€With€that€rejection€we€imagined€we€had€abandoned€the€God€ideaŠ ŌP Šentirely.€€We€were€botheredŠ  ā^ Šwith€the€thought€that€faith€and€dependence€upon€a€Power€beyond€ourselves€wasŠ „ Šsomewhat€weak,€even€cowardly.€€We€looked€upon€this€world€of€warringŠ ’ Šindividuals,€warring€theological€systems,€and€inexplicable€calamity,€with€deepŠ   Šskepticism.€€We€looked€askance€at€many€individuals€who€claimed€to€be€godly.€Š ®* ŠHow€could€a€Supreme€Being€have€anything€to€do€with€it€all?€€And€who€couldŠ ¼8 Šcomprehend€a€Supreme€Being€anyhow?€€Yet,€in€other€moments,€we€foundŠ ŹF Šourselves€thinking,€when€enchanted€by€aŠ Ų T Šstarlit€night,€"Who,€then,€make€all€this?"€€There€was€a€feeling€of€awe€and€wonder,Š ę b Šbut€it€was€fleeting€and€soon€lost.Š ō p ŠĢą Ü ąYes,€we€of€agnostic€temperament€have€had€these€thoughts€andŠ Œ  Šexperiences.€€Let€us€make€haste€to€reassure€you.€€We€found€that€as€soon€as€weŠ š  Šwere€able€to€lay€aside€prejudice€and€express€even€a€willingness€to€believe€in€aŠ ,Ø  ŠPower€greater€than€ourselves,€we€commenced€to€get€results,€even€though€it€wasŠ :¶  Šimpossible€for€any€of€us€to€fully€define€or€comprehend€that€Power,€which€is€God.Š HÄ ŠĢMuch€to€our€relief,€we€discovered€we€did€not€need€to€consider€another'sŠ dą Šconception€of€God.€€Our€own€conception,€however€inadequate,€was€sufficient€toŠ rī Šmake€the€approach€and€to€effect€a€contact€with€Him.€€As€soon€as€we€admittedŠ €ü Šthe€possible€existence€of€a€Creative€Intelligence,€a€Spirit€of€the€UniverseŠ Ž  Šunderlying€the€totality€of€things,€we€began€to€be€possessed€of€a€new€sense€ofŠ œ Špower€and€direction,€provided€we€took€other€simple€steps.€€We€found€that€GodŠ Ŗ& Šdoes€not€make€too€hard€terms€withŠ ø4 Šthose€who€seek€Him.€€To€us,€the€Realm€of€Spirit€is€broad,€roomy,€all€inclusive;Š ĘB Šnever€exclusive€or€forbidding€to€those€who€earnestly€seek.€€It€is€open,€we€believe,Š ŌP Što€all€men.Š  ā^ Š€€€€When,€therefore,€we€speak€to€you€of€God,€we€mean€your€own€conception€ofŠ „ ŠGod.€€This€applies,€too,€to€other€spiritual€expressions€which€you€find€in€this€book.€Š ’ ŠDo€not€let€any€prejudice€you€may€have€against€spiritual€terms€deter€you€fromŠ   Šhonestly€asking€yourself€what€they€mean€to€you.€€At€the€start,€this€was€all€weŠ ®* Šneeded€to€commence€spiritual€growth,€to€effect€our€first€conscious€relation€withŠ ¼8 ŠGod€as€we€understood€Him.€€Afterward,€we€found€ourselves€accepting€manyŠ ŹF Šthings€which€then€seemed€entirely€out€of€reach.€€That€was€growth,€but€if€weŠ Ų T Šwished€to€grow€we€had€to€begin€somewhere.€€So€we€used€our€own€conception,Š ę b Šhowever€limited€it€was.Š ō p ŠĢą Ü ąWe€needed€to€ask€ourselves€but€one€short€question.€€--€"Do€I€now€believe,Š Œ  Šor€am€I€even€willing€to€believe,€that€there€is€a€Power€greater€than€myself?"€€AsŠ š  Šsoon€as€a€man€can€say€that€he€does€believe,€or€is€willing€to€believe,€weŠ ,Ø  Šemphatically€assure€him€that€he€is€on€his€way.€€It€has€beenŠ :¶  Šrepeatedly€proven€among€us€that€upon€this€simple€cornerstone€a€wonderfullyŠ HÄ Šeffective€spiritual€structure€can€be€built.Š VŅ ŠĢą Ü ąThat€was€great€news€to€us,€for€we€had€assumed€we€could€not€make€use€ofŠ rī Šspiritual€principles€unless€we€accepted€many€things€on€faith€which€seemedŠ €ü Šdifficult€to€believe.€€When€people€presented€us€with€spiritual€approaches,€howŠ Ž  Šfrequently€did€we€all€say,€"I€wish€I€had€what€that€man€has.€€I'm€sure€it€would€workŠ œ Šif€I€could€only€believe€as€he€believes.€€But€I€cannot€accept€as€surely€true€theŠ Ŗ& Šmany€articles€of€faith€which€are€so€plain€to€him."€€So€it€was€comforting€to€learnŠ ø4 Šthat€we€could€commence€at€aŠ ĘB Šsimpler€level.Š ŌP ŠĢą Ü ąBesides€a€seeming€inability€to€accept€much€on€faith,Š  šl Šwe€often€found€ourselves€handicapped€by€obstinacy,€sensitiveness,€andŠ „ Šunreasoning€prejudice.€€Many€of€us€have€been€so€touchy€that€even€casualŠ ’ Šreference€to€spiritual€things€make€us€bristle€with€antagonism.€€This€sort€ofŠ   Šthinking€had€to€be€abandoned.€€Though€some€of€us€resisted,€we€found€no€greatŠ ®* Šdifficulty€in€casting€aside€such€feelings.€€Faced€with€alcoholic€destruction,€weŠ ¼8 Šsoon€became€as€open€minded€on€spiritual€matters€as€we€had€tried€to€be€on€otherŠ ŹF Šquestions.€€In€this€respect€alcohol€was€a€great€persuader.€€It€finally€beat€us€into€aŠ Ų T Šstate€of€reasonableness.€€Sometimes€this€was€a€tedious€process;€we€hope€noŠ ę b Šone€else€will€prejudiced€for€as€long€as€some€of€us€were.Š ō p ŠĢą Ü ąThe€reader€may€still€ask€why€he€should€believe€in€a€Power€greater€thanŠ Œ  Šhimself.€€We€think€there€are€good€reasons.€Let€us€have€a€look€at€some€of€them.Š š  ŠĢą Ü ąThe€practical€individual€of€today€is€a€stickler€for€facts€and€results.€Š :¶  ŠNevertheless,€the€twentieth€century€readily€accepts€theories€of€all€kinds,€providedŠ HÄ Šthey€are€firmly€grounded€in€fact.€€We€have€numerous€theories,€for€example,Š VŅ Šabout€electricity.€€Everybody€believes€them€without€a€murmurŠ dą Šof€doubt.€€Why€this€ready€acceptance?€Simply€because€it€is€impossible€to€explainŠ rī Šwhat€we€see,€feel,€direct,€and€use,€without€a€reasonable€assumption€as€a€startingŠ €ü Špoint.Š Ž  ŠĢą Ü ąEverybody€nowadays,€believes€in€scores€of€assumptions€for€which€there€isŠ Ŗ& Šgood€evidence,€but€no€perfect€visual€proof.€€And€does€not€science€demonstrateŠ ø4 Šthat€visual€proof€is€the€weakest€proof?€It€is€being€constantly€revealed,€asŠ ĘB Šmankind€studies€the€material€world,€that€outward€appearances€are€not€inwardŠ ŌP Šreality€at€all.€€To€illustrate:Š ā^ ŠĢą Ü ąThe€prosaic€steel€girder€is€a€mass€of€electrons€whirl-Š  žz Šing€around€each€other€at€incredible€speed.€€These€tiny€bodies€are€governed€byŠ „ Šprecise€laws,€and€these€laws€hold€true€throughout€the€material€world,€ScienceŠ ’ Štells€us€so.€We€have€no€reason€to€doubt€it.€€When,€however,€the€perfectly€logicalŠ   Šassumption€is€suggested€that€underneath€the€material€world€and€life€as€we€see€it,Š ®* Šthere€is€an€All€Powerful,€Guiding,€Creative€Intelligence,€right€there€our€perverseŠ ¼8 ŠstreakŠ ŹF Šcomes€to€the€surface€and€we€laboriously€set€out€to€convince€ourselves€it€isn't€so.€Š Ų T ŠWe€read€wordy€books€and€indulge€in€windy€arguments,€thinking€we€believe€thisŠ ę b Šuniverse€needs€no€God€to€explain€it.€€Were€our€contentions€true,€it€would€followŠ ō p Šthat€life€originated€out€of€nothing,€means€nothing,€and€proceeds€nowhere.Š  ~  ŠĢą Ü ąInstead€of€regarding€ourselves€as€intelligent€agents,€spearheads€of€God'sŠ š  Šever€advancing€Creation,€we€agnostics€and€atheists€chose€to€believe€that€ourŠ ,Ø  Šhuman€intelligence€was€the€last€word,€the€alpha€and€the€omega,€the€beginningŠ :¶  Šand€end€of€all.€€Rather€vain€of€us,€wasn't€it?Š HÄ ŠĢą Ü ąWe,€who€have€traveled€this€dubious€path,€beg€you€to€lay€aside€prejudice,Š dą Ševen€against€organized€religion.€€We€have€learned€that€whatever€the€humanŠ rī Šfrailties€of€various€faiths€may€be,€those€faiths€have€given€purpose€and€direction€toŠ €ü Šmillions.€€People€of€faith€have€a€logical€idea€of€what€life€is€all€about.€€Actually,€weŠ Ž  Šused€to€have€no€reasonable€conception€whatever.€€We€used€to€amuse€ourselvesŠ œ Šby€cynically€dissecting€spiritual€beliefs€and€practices€when€we€might€haveŠ Ŗ& Šobserved€that€many€spiritually-minded€persons€of€all€races,€colors,€and€creedsŠ ø4 Šwere€demonstrating€a€degree€of€stability,€happiness€and€usefulness€which€weŠ ĘB Šshould€have€sought€ourselves.Š  ŌP ŠInstead,€we€looked€at€the€human€defects€of€these€people,€and€sometimes€usedŠ „ Štheir€shortcomings€as€a€basis€of€wholesale€condemnation.€€We€talked€ofŠ ’ Šintolerance,€while€we€were€intolerant€ourselves.€€We€missed€the€reality€and€theŠ   Šbeauty€of€the€forest€because€we€were€diverted€by€the€ugliness€of€some€its€trees.€Š ®* ŠWe€never€gave€the€spiritual€side€of€life€a€fair€hearing.Š ¼8 ŠĢą Ü ąIn€our€personal€stories€you€will€find€a€wide€variation€in€the€way€eachtellerŠ Ų T Šapproaches€and€conceives€of€the€Power€which€is€greater€thanhimself.€€WhetherŠ ę b Šwe€agree€with€a€particular€approach€or€€conception€seems€to€make€littleŠ ō p Šdifference.€€Experience€has€taught€us€that€these€are€matters€about€which,€for€ourŠ  ~  Špurpose,€we€need€not€be€worried.€€They€are€questions€for€each€individual€toŠ Œ  Šsettle€for€himself.Š š  ŠĢą Ü ąOn€one€proposition,€however,€these€men€and€women€are€strikingly€agreed.€Š :¶  ŠEvery€one€of€them€has€gained€access€to,€and€believe€in,€a€Power€greater€thanŠ HÄ Šhimself.€€This€Power€has€in€each€case€accomplished€the€miraculous,€theŠ VŅ Šhumanly€impossible.€€As€a€celebrated€American€statesman€put€it,€"Let's€look€atŠ dą Šthe€record."Š rī ŠĢą Ü ąHere€are€thousands€of€men€and€women,€worldly€indeed.€They€flatly€declareŠ Ž  Šthat€since€they€have€come€to€believe€in€a€Power€greater€than€themselves,€to€takeŠ œ Ša€certain€attitude€toward€that€Power,€and€to€do€certain€simple€things.€€There€hasŠ Ŗ& Šbeen€a€revolutionary€change€in€their€way€of€living€and€thinking.€€In€the€face€ofŠ ø4 Šcollapse€and€despair,€in€the€face€of€the€total€failure€of€their€human€resources,Š ĘB Šthey€found€that€a€new€power,€peace,€happiness,€and€sense€of€direction€flowedŠ ŌP Šinto€them.€€This€happened€soon€after€they€wholeheartedly€met€a€few€simpleŠ ā^ Šrequirements.€€Once€con-Š  šl Šfused€€and€baffled€by€the€seeming€futility€of€existence,€they€show€the€underlyingŠ „ Šreasons€why€they€were€making€heavy€going€of€life.€€Leaving€aside€the€drinkŠ ’ Šquestion,€they€tell€why€living€was€so€unsatisfactory.€€They€show€how€the€changeŠ   Šcame€over€them.€€When€many€hundreds€of€peopleŠ ®* Šare€able€to€say€that€the€consciousness€of€the€Presence€of€God€is€today€the€mostŠ ¼8 Šimportant€fact€of€their€lives,€they€present€a€powerful€reason€why€one€should€haveŠ ŹF Šfaith.Š Ų T ŠĢThis€world€of€ours€has€made€more€material€progress€in€the€last€century€than€in€allŠ ō p Šthe€millenniums€which€went€before.€€Almost€everyone€knows€the€reason.€Š  ~  ŠStudents€of€ancient€history€tell€us€that€the€intellect€of€men€in€those€days€wasŠ Œ  Šequal€to€the€best€of€today.€€Yet€in€ancient€times,€material€progress€was€painfullyŠ š  Šslow.€€The€spirit€of€modern€scientific€inquiry,€research€and€invention€was€almostŠ ,Ø  Šunknown.€€In€the€realm€of€the€material,€men's€minds€were€fettered€byŠ :¶  Šsuperstition,€tradition,€and€all€sort€of€fixed€ideas.€€Some€of€the€contemporaries€ofŠ HÄ ŠColumbus€thought€a€round€earth€preposterous.€€Others€came€near€puttingŠ VŅ ŠGalileo€to€death€for€his€astronomical€heresies.Š dą ŠĢą Ü ąWe€asked€ourselves€this:€Are€not€some€of€us€just€as€biased€andŠ €ü Šunreasonable€about€the€realm€of€the€spirit€as€were€the€ancients€about€the€realmŠ Ž  Šof€the€material?€Even€in€the€present€century,€American€newspapers€were€afraidŠ œ Što€print€an€account€of€the€Wright€brothers'€first€successful€flight€at€Kittyhawk.€Š Ŗ& ŠHad€not€all€efforts€at€flight€failed€before?€Did€not€Professor€Langley's€flyingŠ ø4 Šmachine€go€to€the€bottom€of€the€Potomac€River?€Was€it€not€true€that€the€bestŠ ĘB Šmathematical€minds€had€proved€man€could€never€fly?€Had€not€people€said€GodŠ ŌP Šhad€reserved€this€privilege€to€theŠ  ā^ Šbirds?€Only€thirty€years€later€the€conquest€of€the€air€was€almost€an€old€story€andŠ „ Šairplane€travel€was€in€full€swing.Š ’ ŠĢą Ü ąBut€in€most€fields€our€generation€has€witnessed€complete€liberation€inŠ ®* Šthinking.€€Show€any€longshoreman€a€Sunday€supplement€describing€a€proposalŠ ¼8 Što€explore€the€moon€by€means€of€a€rocket€and€he€will€say,€"I€bet€they€do€itŠ ŹF Š--maybe€not€so€long€either."€Is€not€our€age€characterized€by€the€ease€with€whichŠ Ų T Šwe€discard€old€ideas€for€new,€by€the€complete€readiness€with€which€we€throwŠ ę b Šaway€the€theory€or€gadget€which€does€not€work€for€something€new€which€does?Š ō p ŠĢą Ü ąWe€had€to€ask€ourselves€why€we€shouldn't€apply€to€our€human€problemsŠ Œ  Šthis€same€readiness€to€change€our€point€of€view.€€We€were€having€trouble€withŠ š  Špersonal€relationships,€we€couldn't€control€our€emotional€natures,€we€were€a€preyŠ ,Ø  Što€misery€and€depression,€we€couldn't€make€a€living,€we€had€a€feeling€ofŠ :¶  Šuselessness,€we€were€full€of€fear,€we€were€unhappy,€we€couldn't€seem€to€be€ofŠ HÄ Šreal€help€to€other€people€--€was€not€a€basic€solution€of€these€bedevilments€moreŠ VŅ Šimportant€than€whether€we€should€see€newsreels€of€lunar€flight?€Of€course€itŠ dą Šwas.Š rī ŠĢą Ü ąWhen€we€saw€others€solve€their€problems€by€a€simple€reliance€uponŠ Ž  Šthe€Spirit€of€the€Universe,€we€had€to€stop€doubting€the€power€of€God.€Š œ ŠOur€ideas€did€not€work.€€But€the€God€idea€did.Š Ŗ& ŠĢą Ü ąThe€Wright€brothers'€almost€childish€faith€that€they€could€build€a€machineŠ ĘB Šwhich€would€fly€was€the€mainspring€of€their€accomplishment.€€Without€that,Š ŌP Šnothing€could€have€happened.€€We€agnostics€and€atheists€were€sticking€to€theŠ ā^ Šidea€that€self-sufficiency€would€solve€our€problems.€€When€others€showed€us€thatŠ šl ŠŌ_Ō"God-suf-Š  žz ŠŌ_ŌficiencyŌ_Ō€worked€with€them,€we€began€to€feel€like€those€who€had€insisted€theŠ „ ŠWrights€would€never€fly.Š ’ ŠĢą Ü ąLogic€is€great€stuff.€€We€like€it.€€We€still€like€it.€€It€is€not€by€chance€we€wereŠ ®* Šgiven€the€power€to€reason,€to€examine€the€evidence€of€our€sense,€and€to€drawŠ ¼8 Šconclusions.€€That€is€one€of€man's€magnificent€attributes.€€We€agnosticallyŠ ŹF Šinclined€would€not€feel€satisfied€with€a€proposal€which€does€not€lend€itself€toŠ Ų T Šreasonable€approach€and€interpretation.€€Hence€we€are€at€pains€to€tell€why€weŠ ę b Šthink€our€Ō_ŌŌ_Ōpresent€faith€is€reasonable,€why€we€think€it€more€sane€and€logical€toŠ ō p Šbelieve€than€not€to€believe,€why€we€say€our€former€thinking€was€soft€and€mushyŠ  ~  Šwhen€we€threw€up€our€hands€in€doubt€and€said,€"We€don't€know."Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąWhen€we€became€alcoholics,€crushed€by€a€self-imposed€crises€we€couldŠ ,Ø  Šnot€postpone€or€evade,€we€had€to€fearlessly€face€the€Ō_ŌpropositionthatŌ_Ō€either€GodŠ :¶  Šis€everything€or€else€He€is€nothing.€€God€either€is€or€He€isn't.€€What€was€ourŠ HÄ Šchoice€to€be?Š VŅ ŠĢą Ü ąArrived€at€this€point,€we€were€squarely€confronted€with€the€question€of€faith.€Š rī ŠWe€couldn't€duck€the€issue.€€Some€of€us€had€already€walked€far€over€the€BridgeŠ €ü Šof€Reason€toward€the€desired€shore€of€faith.€€The€outlines€and€the€promise€of€theŠ Ž  ŠNew€Land€had€brought€lustre€to€tired€eyes€and€fresh€courage€to€flagging€spirits.€Š œ ŠFriendly€hands€had€stretched€out€in€welcome.€€We€were€grateful€that€ReasonŠ Ŗ& Šhad€brought€us€so€far.€€But€somehow,€we€couldn't€quite€step€ashore.€€PerhapsŠ ø4 Šwe€had€been€leaningŠ ĘB Štoo€heavily€on€reason€that€last€mile€and€we€did€not€like€to€lose€our€support.Š ŌP ŠĢą Ü ąThat€was€natural,€but€let€us€think€a€little€more€closely.€Without€knowing€it,Š šl Šhad€we€not€been€brought€to€where€we€stood€by€a€certain€kind€of€faith?€For€didŠ  žz ŠŌ_Ōwe€not€believe€in€our€own€reasoning?€did€we€not€have€confidence€in€our€ability€toŠ „ Šthink?€What€was€that€but€a€sort€of€faith?€Yes,€we€had€been€faithful,€abjectlyŠ ’ Šfaithful€to€the€God€of€Reason.€€So,€in€one€way€or€another,€we€discovered€thatŠ   Šfaith€had€been€involved€all€the€time!Š ®* ŠĢą Ü ąWe€found,€too,€that€we€had€been€worshippers.€€What€a€state€of€mentalŠ ŹF Šgoose-flesh€that€used€to€bring€on!€Had€we€not€variously€worshipped€people,Š Ų T Šsentiment,€things,€money,€and€ourselves?€And€then,Š ę b Šwith€a€better€motive,€had€we€not€worshipfully€beheld€the€sunset,€the€sea,€or€aŠ ō p Šflower?€Who€of€us€had€not€loved€something€or€somebody?€How€much€did€theseŠ  ~  Šfeelings,€these€loves,€these€worships,€have€to€do€with€pure€reason?€Little€orŠ Œ  Šnothing,€we€saw€at€last.€€Were€not€these€things€the€tissue€out€of€which€our€livesŠ š  Šwere€constructed?€Did€not€these€feelings,€after€all,€determine€the€course€of€ourŠ ,Ø  Šexistence?€It€was€impossible€to€say€we€had€no€capacity€for€faith,€or€love,€orŠ :¶  Šworship.€€In€one€form€or€anotherŠ HÄ Šwe€had€been€living€by€faith€and€little€else.Š VŅ ŠĢą Ü ąImagine€life€without€faith!€Were€nothing€left€but€pure€reason,€it€wouldn't€beŠ rī Šlife.€€But€we€believed€in€life€--of€course€we€did.€€We€could€not€prove€life€in€theŠ €ü Šsense€that€you€can€prove€a€straight€line€is€the€shortest€distance€between€twoŠ Ž  Špoints,€yet,€there€it€was.€€Could€we€still€say€the€whole€thing€was€nothing€but€aŠ œ Šmass€of€electrons,€created€out€of€nothing,€meaning€nothing,€whirling€on€to€aŠ Ŗ& Šdestiny€of€nothingness?€Or€course€we€couldn't.€€The€electrons€themselvesŠ ø4 Šseemed€more€intelligent€than€that.€€AtŠ ĘB Šleast,€so€the€chemist€said.Š ŌP ŠĢą Ü ąHence,€we€saw€that€reason€isn't€everything.€€Neither€is€reason,€as€most€ofŠ šl Šus€use€it,€entirely€dependable,Š  žz Š€thought€it€emanate€from€our€best€minds.€€What€about€people€who€proved€thatŠ „ Šman€could€never€fly?€Yet€we€had€been€seeing€another€kind€of€flight,€a€spiritualŠ ’ Šliberation€from€this€world,€people€who€rose€above€their€problems.€€They€said€GodŠ   Šmade€these€things€possible,€and€we€only€smiled.€€We€had€seen€spiritual€release,Š ®* Šbut€liked€to€tell€ourselves€it€wasn't€true.Š ¼8 ŠĢą Ü ąActually€we€were€fooling€ourselves,€for€deep€down€in€every€man,€woman,Š Ų T Šand€child,€is€the€fundamental€idea€of€God.€€It€may€be€obscured€by€calamity,€byŠ ę b Špomp,€by€worship€of€other€things,€but€in€some€form€or€other€it€is€there.€For€faith€inŠ ō p Ša€Power€greater€than€ourselves,€and€miraculous€demonstrations€of€that€power€inŠ  ~  Šhuman€lives,€are€facts€as€old€as€man€himself.Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąWe€finally€saw€that€faith€in€some€kind€of€God€was€a€part€of€our€make-up,Š ,Ø  Šjust€as€much€as€the€feeling€we€have€for€a€friend.€€Sometimes€we€had€to€searchŠ :¶  Šfearlessly,€but€He€was€there.€€He€was€as€much€a€fact€as€we€were.€€We€found€theŠ HÄ ŠGreat€Reality€deep€down€within€us.€€In€the€last€analysis€it€is€only€there€that€HeŠ VŅ Šmay€be€found.€€It€was€so€with€us.Š dą ŠĢą Ü ąWe€can€only€clear€the€ground€a€bit.€€If€our€testimony€helps€sweep€awayŠ €ü Šprejudice,€enables€you€to€think€honestly,€encourages€you€to€search€diligentlyŠ Ž  Šwithin€yourself,€then,€if€you€wish,€you€can€join€us€on€the€Broad€Highway.€€WithŠ œ Šthis€attitude€you€cannot€fail.€€the€consciousness€of€your€belief€is€sure€to€come€toŠ Ŗ& Šyou.Š ø4 ŠĢą Ü ąIn€this€book€you€will€read€the€experience€of€a€man€who€thought€he€was€anŠ ŌP Šatheist.€€His€story€is€so€interesting€that€some€of€it€should€be€told€now.€€HisŠ ā^ Šchange€of€heart€was€dramatic,€convincing,€and€moving.Š  šl Šą Ü ąOur€friend€was€a€minister's€son.€€He€attended€church€school,€where€heŠ „ Šbecame€rebellious€at€what€he€thought€an€overdose€of€religious€education.€€ForŠ ’ Šyears€thereafter€he€was€dogged€by€trouble€and€frustration.€€Business€failure,Š   Šinsanity,€fatal€illness,€suicide€--€these€calamities€in€his€immediate€familyŠ ®* Šembittered€and€depressed€him.€Post-war€disillusionment,€ever€more€seriousŠ ¼8 Šalcoholism,€impending€mental€and€physical€collapse,€brought€him€to€the€point€toŠ ŹF Šself-destruction.Š Ų T ŠĢą Ü ąOne€night,€when€confined€in€a€hospital,€he€was€approached€by€an€alcoholicŠ ō p Šwho€had€known€a€spiritual€experience.€Our€friend's€gorge€rose€as€he€bitterly€criedŠ  ~  Šout:€"If€there€is€a€God,€He€certainly€hasn't€done€anything€for€me!"€But€later,€aloneŠ Œ  Šin€his€room,€he€asked€himself€this€question:€"Is€it€possible€that€all€the€religiousŠ š  Špeople€I€have€known€are€wrong?"€While€pondering€the€answer€he€felt€as€thoughŠ ,Ø  Šhe€lived€in€hell.€€Then,€like€a€thunderbolt,€a€great€thought€came.€€It€crowded€outŠ :¶  Šall€else:Š HÄ ŠĢņņą Ü ą"Who€are€you€to€say€there€is€no€God?"óóŠ dą ŠĢą Ü ąThis€man€recounts€that€he€tumbled€out€of€bed€to€his€knees.€€In€a€fewŠ ~ś Šseconds€he€was€overwhelmed€by€a€conviction€of€the€Presence€of€God.€€It€pouredŠ Œ Šover€and€through€him€with€the€certainty€and€majesty€of€a€great€tide€at€flood.€€TheŠ š Šbarriers€he€had€built€through€the€years€were€swept€away.€€He€stood€in€theŠ Ø$ ŠPresence€of€Infinite€Power€and€Love.€€He€had€stepped€from€bridge€to€shore.€€ForŠ ¶2 Šthe€first€time,€he€lived€in€conscious€companionship€with€his€Creator.Š Ä@ ŠĢą Ü ąThus€was€our€friend's€cornerstone€fixed€in€place.€€No€later€vicissitude€hasŠ ą\ Šshaken€it.€€His€alcoholic€problem€was€taken€away.€€That€very€night,€years€ago,€itŠ īj Šdis-Š  üx Šappeared.€€Save€for€a€few€brief€moments€of€temptation€the€though€of€drink€hasŠ „ Šnever€returned;€and€at€such€times€a€great€revulsion€has€risen€up€in€him.€Š ’ ŠSeemingly€he€could€not€drink€even€if€he€would.€€God€had€restored€his€sanity.Š   ŠĢWhat€is€this€but€a€miracle€of€healing?€Yet€its€elements€are€simple.€Š ¼8 ŠCircumstances€made€him€willing€to€believe.€He€humbly€offered€himself€to€hisŠ ŹF ŠMaker€--€then€he€knew.Š Ų T ŠĢą Ü ąEven€so€has€God€restored€us€all€to€our€right€minds.€€To€this€man,€theŠ ō p Šrevelation€was€sudden.€€Some€of€us€grow€into€it€more€slowly.€€But€He€has€comeŠ  ~  Što€all€who€have€honestly€sought€Him.Š Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąWhen€we€drew€near€to€Him€He€disclosed€Himself€to€us!Š  ,Ø  ŠŃ€ ŃŃ8€īōņd¾ōņd¾8ŃChapter€5Š   ŠĢHOW€IT€WORKSŠ & ŠĢą Ü ąRarely€have€we€seen€a€person€fail€who€has€thoroughly€followed€our€path.€Š B 8 ŠThose€who€do€not€recover€are€people€who€cannot€or€will€not€completely€giveŠ P F Šthemselves€to€this€simple€program,€usually€men€and€women€who€areŠ ^ T Šconstitutionally€incapable€of€being€honest€with€themselves.€€There€are€suchŠ l b Šunfortunates.€€They€are€not€at€fault;€they€seem€to€have€been€born€that€way.€€TheyŠ z p Šare€naturally€incapable€of€developing€a€manner€of€living€which€demands€rigorousŠ ˆ~  Šhonesty.€€Their€chances€are€less€than€average.€€There€are€those€two€who€sufferŠ –Œ  Šfrom€grave€emotional€and€mental€disorders,€but€many€of€them€do€recover€if€theyŠ ¤š  Šhave€the€capacity€to€be€honest.Š ²Ø  ŠĢOur€stories€disclose€in€a€general€way€what€we€used€to€be€like,€what€happened,Š ĪÄ Šand€what€we€are€like€now.€€If€you€have€decided€you€want€what€we€have€and€areŠ ÜŅ Šwilling€to€go€to€any€length€to€get€it„„then€you€are€ready€to€take€certain€steps.Š źą ŠĢAt€some€of€these€we€balked.€€We€thought€we€could€€find€an€easier,€softer€way.€Š ü ŠBut€we€could€not.€€With€all€the€earnestness€at€our€command,€we€beg€of€you€to€beŠ   Šfearless€and€thorough€from€the€very€start.€€Some€of€us€have€tried€to€hold€on€toŠ " Šour€old€ideas,€and€the€result€was€nil€until€we€let€go€absolutely.Š 0& ŠĢRemember€that€we€deal€with€alcohol„„cunning,€baf„Š  LB Šfling,€powerful.€€Without€Help€it€is€too€much€for€us.€€But€there€is€one€who€has€allŠ   Špower„„that€one€is€God.€€May€you€find€him€now!Š  ŠĢą Ü ąHalf€measures€availed€us€nothing.€€We€stood€at€the€turning€point.€€WeŠ 4* Šasked€his€protection€and€care€with€complete€abandon.Š B 8 ŠĢHere€are€the€steps€we€took,€which€are€suggested€as€a€program€of€recovery:Š ^ T ŠĢą Ü ą1.ą0 4 ąWe€admitted€we€were€powerless€over€alcohol„„that€our€lives€hadŠ z p Šbecome€unmanageable.Šˆ~ 4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą2.ą0 4 ąCame€to€believe€that€a€Power€greater€than€ourselves€could€restore€usŠ –Œ  Što€sanity.Фš 4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą3.ą0 4 ąMade€a€decision€to€turn€our€will€and€our€lives€over€to€the€care€of€God,Š ²Ø  Šņņas€we€understood€him.ó󊥶 4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą4.ą0 4 ąMade€a€searching€and€fearless€moral€inventory€of€ourselves.ŠĢĀ4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą5.ą0 4 ąAdmitted€to€God,€to€ourselves,€and€to€another€human€being,€theŠ ŚŠ Šexact€nature€of€our€wrongs.ŠčŽ4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą6.ą0 4 ąWere€entirely€ready€to€have€God€remove€all€these€defects€ofŠ öģ Šcharacter.Šś4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą7.ą0 4 ąHumbly€asked€Him€to€remove€our€shortcomings.Š4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą8.ą0 4 ąMade€a€list€of€all€persons€we€had€harmed,€and€became€willing€toŠ   Šmake€amends€to€them€all.Š.$4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą9.ą0 4 ąMade€direct€amends€to€such€people€wherever€possible,€except€whenŠ <2 Što€do€so€would€injure€them€or€others.ŠJ@4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą10.ą0 4 ąContinued€to€take€personal€inventory,€and€when€we€were€wrong,Š XN Špromptly€admitted€it.Šf\4T$4T$ Šą Ü ą11.ą0 4 ąSought€through€prayer€and€meditation€to€improve€our€consciousŠ t j Šcontact€with€God€ņņas€we€understood€himóó,€praying€only€for€knowledgeŠ ‚!x Šof€His€will€for€us,€and€the€power€to€carry€that€out.Š "†4T$4T$ ŠąŠŲŲ Üą12ˆ.ą0 4 ąHaving€had€a€spiritual€awakening€as€the€result€of€these€steps,€weŠ   Štried€to€carry€this€message€to€alcoholics,€and€to€practice€theseŠ  Šprinciples€in€all€our€affairs.Š&4T$4T$ ŠĢą Ü ąMany€of€us€exclaimed,€"What€an€order!€€i€can't€go€through€with€it."€€Do€notŠ B 8 Šbe€discouraged.€€No€one€among€us€has€been€able€to€maintain€anything€likeŠ P F Šperfect€adherence€to€these€principles.€€We€are€not€saints.€€The€point€is,€that€weŠ ^ T Šare€willing€to€grow€along€spiritual€lines.€€The€principles€we€have€set€down€areŠ l b Šguides€to€progress.€€we€claim€spiritual€progress€rather€than€spiritual€perfection.Š z p ŠĢOur€description€of€the€alcoholic,€the€chapter€to€the€agnostic,€and€our€personalŠ –Œ  Šadventures€before€and€after€make€clear€three€pertinent€ideas:Š ¤š  ŠĢą Ü ą(a)ą0 4 ąThat€we€were€alcoholic€and€could€not€manage€our€lives.ŠĄ¶ 4T$4T$ ŠĢą Ü ą(b)ą0 4 ąThat€probably€no€human€power€could€have€relieved€our€alcoholism.ŠÜŅ4T$4T$ ŠĢą Ü ą(c)ą0 4 ąThat€God€could€and€would€if€He€were€sought.Šųī4T$4T$ ŠĢą Ü ąBeing€convinced,€ņņwe€were€at€Step€Threeóó€which€is€that€we€decided€to€turnŠ   Šour€will€and€our€life€over€to€God€as€we€understood€Him.€€Just€what€do€we€meanŠ " Šby€this€and€just€what€do€we€do?Š 0& ŠĢą Ü ąThe€first€requirement€is€that€we€be€convinced€that€any€life€run€on€self„willŠ LB Šcan€hardly€be€a€success.€€On€that€basis€we€are€almost€always€in€collision€withŠ ZP Šsomething€or€somebody,€even€though€our€motives€are€good.€€most€people€tryŠ h^ Što,live€by€self„propulsion.€€€Each€person€is€like€an€actor€who€wants€to€run€theŠ v l Šwhole€show;€is€forever€trying€to€arrange€the€lights,€the€ballet,€the€scenery€and€theŠ „!z Šrest€of€the€players€in€his€own€way.€€IfŠ  ’"ˆ Šhis€arrangements€would€only€stay€put,€if€only€people€would€do€as€he€wished,€theŠ   Šshow€would€be€great.€€Everybody,€including€himself€would€be€pleased.€€LifeŠ  Šwould€be€wonderful.€€In€trying€to€make€these€arrangements€our€actor€mayŠ & Šsometimes€be€quite€virtuous.€€He€may€be€kind,€considerate,€patient,€generous;Š 4* Ševen€modest€and€self„sacrificing.€€He€is€more€likely€to€have€varied€traits.Š B 8 ŠĢWhat€usually€happens?€€The€show€doesn't€come€off€very€well.€€he€begins€to€thinkŠ ^ T Šlife€doesn't€treat€him€right.€€He€decides€to€exert€himself€more.€€He€becomes,€onŠ l b Šthe€next€occasion,€still€more€demanding€or€gracious,€as€the€case€may€be.€€StillŠ z p Šthe€play€does€not€suit€him.€€Admitting€he€may€be€somewhat€at€fault,€he€is€sureŠ ˆ~  Šthat€other€people€are€more€to€blame.€€He€becomes€angry,€indignant,€self„pitying.€Š –Œ  ŠWhat€is€his€basic€trouble?€€Is€he€not€really€a€self„seeker€even€when€trying€to€beŠ ¤š  Škind?€€Is€he€not€a€victim€of€the€delusion€that€he€can€wrest€satisfaction€andŠ ²Ø  Šhappiness€out€of€this€world€if€he€only€manages€well?€€Is€it€not€evident€to€all€theŠ Ą¶  Šrest€of€the€players€that€these€are€the€things€he€wants?€€And€do€not€his€actionsŠ ĪÄ Šmake€each€of€them€wish€to€retaliate,€snatching€all€they€can€get€of€the€show?€€IsŠ ÜŅ Šhe€not,€even€in€his€best€moments,€a€producer€of€confusion€rather€than€harmony?Š źą ŠĢOur€actor€is€self„centred„„ego„centric,€as€people€like€to€call€it€nowadays.€€He€isŠ ü Šlike€the€retired€business€man€who€lolls€in€the€Florida€sunshine€in€the€winterŠ   Šcomplaining€of€the€sad€state€of€the€nation;€the€minister€who€sighs€over€the€sins€ofŠ " Šthe€twentieth€century;€politicians€and€reformers€who€are€sure€all€would€be€UtopiaŠ  0& Šif€the€rest€of€the€world€would€only€behave;€the€outlaw€safe€cracker€who€thinksŠ   Šsociety€has€wronged€him;€and€the€alcoholic€who€has€lost€all€and€is€locked€up€Š  ŠWhatever€our€protestations,€are€not€most€of€us€concerned€with€ourselves,€ourŠ & Šresentments,€or€our€self„pity?Š 4* ŠĢą Ü ąSelfishness„„self„centeredness!€€That,€we€think,€is€the€root€of€our€troubles.€Š P F ŠDriven€by€a€hundred€forms€of€fear,€self„delusion,€self„seeking,€and€self„pity,€weŠ ^ T Šstep€on€the€toes€of€our€fellows€and€they€retaliate.€€Sometimes€they€hurt€us,Š l b Šseemingly€without€provocation,€but€we€invariably€find€that€at€some€time€in€theŠ z p Špast€we€have€made€decisions€based€on€self€which€later€put€us€in€a€position€to€beŠ ˆ~  Šhurt.Š –Œ  ŠĢą Ü ąSo,€our€troubles,€we€think,€are€basically€of€our€own€making.€€They€arise€ofŠ ²Ø  Šourselves,€and€the€alcoholic€is€an€extreme€example€of€self„will€run€riot,€though€heŠ Ą¶  Šusually€doesn't€think€so.€€Above€everything,€we€alcoholics€must€be€rid€of€thisŠ ĪÄ Šselfishness.€€We€must,€or€it€kills€us!€€God€makes€that€possible.€€And€there€oftenŠ ÜŅ Šseems€no€way€of€entirely€getting€rid€of€self€without€His€aid.€€Many€of€us€had€moralŠ źą Šand€philosophical€convictions€galore,€but€we€could€not€live€up€to€them€evenŠ ųī Šthough€we€would€have€liked€to.€€neither€could€we€reduce€our€self„centerednessŠ ü Šby€wishing€or€trying€on€our€own€power.€€We€had€to€have€God's€help.Š   ŠĢą Ü ąThis€is€the€how€and€why€of€it.€€First€of€all,€we€had€to€quit€playing€God.€€ItŠ 0& Šdidn't€work.€€Next,€we€decided€that€hereafter€in€this€drama€of€life,€God€was€goingŠ >4 Što€be€our€director.€€he€is€the€Principal;€we€are€His€agents.€€He€is€the€Father,€andŠ LB Šwe€are€His€children.€€Most€good€ideas€are€simple,€and€this€concept€was€theŠ ZP Škeystone€of€the€new€and€triumphant€arch€through€which€we€passed€to€freedom.Š  h^ Šą Ü ąWhen€we€sincerely€took€such€a€position,€all€sorts€of€remarkable€thingsŠ   Šfollowed.€€we€had€a€new€Employer.€€Being€all€powerful,€He€provided€what€weŠ  Šneeded,€if€we€kept€close€to€Him€and€performed€His€work€well.€€established€onŠ & Šsuch€a€footing€we€became€less€and€less€interested€in€ourselves,€our€little€plansŠ